Dumb Comments

It amazes me the amount of utterly stupid things that some people say about Africa. Really, REALLY dumb things. Here's the one that I think takes the cake.

Dummy: I really want to go on a mission trip to Africa.

Me: Great. Where in Africa?

D: You know, AFRICA.

Me: Anywhere specific.

D: Maybe the Congo. Or Liberia. Those states in Africa.

Me: Right. (Thinking, you're joking. You just called two countries states. And those two countries are nowhere near each other, and speak different languages, even the European languages. You just want to go because they've been mentioned before at church events.)

D: But I was wondering, when you move there, how will you learn the language?

Me: In Uganda, the national language is English. But I'm working on learning Luganda at the moment, and I plan to start working on Lugisu next year, when I'm not studying and so have more time.

D: (getting really excited) You know what you should do? There's this boy, in the _____ centre. He's from Zimbabwe. You should get HIM to teach you!

Me: He's from Zimbabwe?

D: Yeah!

Me: I don't think he's going to speak Luganda or Lugisu.

D: Of course he speaks African, he's from Zimbabwe!

Me: I'll keep it in mind (so I can blog about this later!)

African Exam Answers

I marked an exam in Africa (for P4, or approx grae 3). Some of the answers were hilarious, so I recorded them for the blog.

Write Saturday in short form:
STD


Write Sun in full
Sunshine


Charity Begins...
Charity begins... the work
Charity begins... crying
Charity begins... with the letter "C"
Charity begins... talking


As black as...
Chuckle

Home Again, Home Again

So, I'm back home.

It was an interesting journey.

Africa was great. I got proposed to and everything. I don't know if it's a trip to Africa if I'm not proposed to at least once by someone I've never met before, and won't meet again.

But what was really interesting (read, epically terrible) was the trip home.

I had an allergic reaction at the airport in Doha. All staff were great, except the s**tty cafe staff who DIDN'T WASH THEIR EQUIPMENT EVEN THOUGH I TOLD THEM TO AND THEN CORRECTED THEM AND THEY STILL DIDN'T FIX IT. Anyways, I was massively, massively sick. I got a wheel chair and everything.

The wheel chair bit was fun - as was the 1st class lounge that I got to spend my time vommitting in. I would have enjoyed it more... if I hadn't been so sick.

Kind of lucky I was. My lift pulled out and I would have been travelling home by myself with no money for a cab if I hadn't. But a two sentence chew-out including "IM IN A WHEELCHAIR" fixed that.

And RMIT sucks. There was no class. I could have spent another week in Uganda.

Got my Nails Done

So, a while ago, I got my nails done. It makes you feel pretty, and I needed it. You see, in Uganda I had boys literally throwing themselves at me and declaring their undying love. I got hit on more in one day than I would have pretty much in the rest of my life put together. And back in my teenage days, I got hit on a fair bit.

And I cam back here. One of my friends at work (who's half African) pointed out that while African guys will always compliment, Aussie guys make you work for their compliments.

I laughed. "I've got it worse. I mostly hang out with Chinese boys. They won't even tell you when you look good... Only when you don't!"

Hence the nails.

Sam looks pretty now!

Most Common African Conversation

Hey, Hi, Mzungu, can I walk with you?

Um, Sure.

Mzungu, what is your name?

My name's Sam.

Sam? That is a BOY'S name.

Well, in Mzungu countries, it is a girl's name too.

So, Mzungu, Sam. I want to be your friend. So you can give me your phone number, and I will phone you, and we will have lunch tomorrow.

I don't have a phone.

But... how do your friends find you?

They know where I am.

But, what if they want to SPEAK to you.

Then they have to wait.

You should get a phone.

I'm only in Uganda for 3 weeks. I'm not getting a phone.

Hmm. I know! I will give you MY number, and then you can phone me, and then we can have lunch tomorrow.

Well, you can give me your phone number, but I won't phone it, because I don't have a phone.

You could borrow someone else's phone to phone me.

That's not going to happen.

You know, Mzungu, Sam, you are very beautiful. Are you single, or are you married.

I'm single. I'm also not looking, because I'm only here for 3 weeks.

But... every girl wants to get married!

I would like to have the option of knowing a guy for more than three weeks before marriage. He might not want the same things as what I want. Besides (with the aim of messing with minds) what do I need a boy for?

Children.

I'll just adopt.

But... mzungu...

Oh, here's the (school, compound, etc). See you later!

Funnies From Africa

My Top class were learning the 12 days of Christmas for their concert. Several of them didn’t quite understand the lyrics, and were quite convinced that it was 10 lords a SLEEPING.

When I told Abby that I was going to eat her up, she told me very seriously, “You can’t eat people. You can’t eat the skin. So you have to pull the skin off and THEN you can eat people.”

Amaya retold the story of Bluebeard from a personal perspective: “If your friend is evil, and he kills all your best friends, and you grow up and marry him, he will kill you.”

Support Bushikori Over Christmas

If you are looking for Christmas cards that support the spread of the gospel and helping those in difficult circumstances (especially widows and orphans) then look no further! Bushikori Christian Centre in Uganda are selling Christmas cards.


Card 4


Card 2

To see the full range, visit this page of the Bushikori website.

If you want to order some, either leave a comment, email Sam, or speak to her. Alternatively you can order directly from Bushikori (details on the website). For those who want more information on Bushikori, the work it does, or how to further support Bushikori, again, get in contact with Sam.