General Update - From my email to Steph

I collapsed a month ago and couldn't walk for three hours. I've had my blood tested and got to wear a heart monitor for a day, which the children all thought was pretty awesome. I haven't got my results yet because...

About two weeks ago I got a text saying that my mum, who was overseas, had been admitted to hospital with dehydration. She picked up a bug in Eygpt, got to England and collapsed. A few days later I heard she was still in hospital, but there was no further communication because of weather affecting communications.

On Friday I went over to my parents house to phone my grandmother and find out what was happening. Turns out they got through to Uncle Brian, who got through to Julie, who decided that it would worry everyone else too much if she told us anything, so she just didn't tell anyone anything (not me or dad, let alone the boys) and wasn't going to until she realised I was going to phone and therefore would be finding out anyway.

Turns out mum picked up a massive bacterial infection, which attacked her liver, lungs, heart and kidneys. She was in intensive care for two days, critical care for 5, and medically died 3 times. She is fine, released from hospital, and was staying with my grandma.

Unfortunately, the house hadn't been cleaned at all in the 6 weeks mum was away. So it was feral. The washing machine broke 2 weeks ago, and they just didn't bother doing any washing. They haven't eaten any vegetables, fruit, or anything requiring cooking.

Then my brother and sister got into a fight over chocolate cake. So JW got a chisel to stab Julie. I took Julie back to my my place. Along with lots of washing.

Sunday Dad came home from Geelong and hit the roof. I came over after church and cleaned the place, and cleaned it more on Monday.

Mum is now stuck at Heathrow airport, with not great conditions for anyone, let alone someone just out of hopsital.

My family is such white trash. I'm gonna die this holiday!

I Love This

Nun Too Good

Alex was talking to Erin, telling her all about this movie she had seen on the weekend - The Sound of Music.

"The nuns, they're really bad."

"Are you sure the nuns are bad Alex?"

"Yeah, they're really bad. They shoot people! They even tried to catch my Opar, but he was too smart for them, so he escaped."

"Alex, I think you mean the Nazis."

"Oh, yeah, the Nazis, not the nuns."

A Girl Hits Joab

So, we had our half night of prayer on Saturday night. My group was on set-up, so I arrived early. When we walked up, Jasmine said, "We passed Joab on the way. He was exchanging phone numbers with a girl."

Car accident number 50 billion for Joab.

Which resulted in massive teasing the moment he rocked up.

"She hit me!" he insisted.

"Yeah, right," I said.

"Why is so hard to believe that a girl hit me?"

"Well, I want to hit you all the time, but I don't usually use a car to do it."

I bet it really was his fault!

Way So Cool

Sam Is The Best Boyfriend

Part 1
So, it was Kal's birthday recently. So Kal, Stephen and I went out for dinner. We went to a cool restaurant called Mosq. (Where we talked about Christian stuff. We are so post-modern.)

Stephen gave very bad directions, and was surprised when I corrected him repeatedly, because normally I suck at directions (even more than he does). Kal reminded him that we were in my 'hood.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that your parents sent you to a rich school."

The whole way there, I teased Stephen because he only got Kal 3 presents, and I got her 4. "I'm a way better boyfriend than you." Kallie thought it was hilarious, mostly because Stephen was getting competative.

When we got to the restaurant, I saw her present from Stephen. Her main present: a bag.

Now, it's a nice bag. But I can't get excited about a bag. And neither can Kallie. We just can't. I mean, it's a bag.

I brought out my presents, and Kallie squealled. "Biggles! I love Biggles!

That's right. My second hand books that Kallie knew she was getting way outrated the bag on the excitement factor. Score another point to the white girl as being the best boyfriend.


Part 2
Anyway, at work last Thursday, Ale and I share planning. I had just finished, so Ale had come into the planning room.

"I'm going to leave early. It's such a massive wait til my bus."

"You want to 5:20 bus then. Leave at 5:15 and you'll make it."

Ale sits down at the computer and then she gets a text. It's from Tim, her finace. "You want to catch the 5:21 bus," it says.

"He's my personal organiser," Ale says. "But you were faster."

"That's because I'm the best boyfriend..."



Now, to convince someone that I'd make the best girlfriend. Either that, or I'm going to Africa and dying there. One of the two.

One of the Two

So, Joab's reading my blog again. He goes through spurts where he catches up on all old posts.

How do I know this? He talked to Kallie about how he's worried I'm going to declare my undying affections to someone in Chinese.

The question is: does he know who? does he have suspicions as to who?

Kallie tried to find out, but that boy has a brain that just doesn't work like a normal persons. So she couldn't.

"Maybe he could help," she suggested afterwards.

"Nah, I think he just doesn't want to miss me humilating myself in front of everyone."

Fairy Amusing

I was reading The Perilous Gard, which Melissa Wiley recommended. It's pretty good. I was 8 pages from finishing when Kal and I had to leave to go to Care-Group. I was not happy.

"What's so great?" Kal wanted to know.

"Well, this girl and a boy got kidnapped by fairies, and she's managed to help them escape, and now she thinks he's into her sister."

"Man, those fairies are always kidnapping people."

"Yeah. I had to give Elaine Lee advice on what to do if kidnapped by fairies."

"Don't eat anything?"

"And stay out of toadstool circles. Good thing we're in Australia. No kidnapping fairies here."

"Yeah, we've just got bunyips."

"So as long as we stay out of the water catchments we're fine."

Where upon Kallie remembers where she works. "Oh dear," she says.

And I Thought My Diet Was Bad

Stephen is sick. I personally suspect man-flu, but who knows? It's difficult to tell with boys.

Kallie is going over today to take care of him. (Aw, how sweet!) I questioned the necessity of this, especially as she could be spending the day with me doing nothing.

"I have to go," Kal explained. "Do you know what that boy eats when he's sick?"

"What?"

"ICE-CREAM."

"Not the best choice for a full recovery," I commented.

"It get's worse. He also has nuttelex on bread!"

"That's not that bad," I said.

"Did I say nuttelex? I meant nutella."

No, That One's Mine

Today, I was sitting with Thomas at rest time. He wasn't going to sleep, so Helen and I sat around joking with him. You can have a LONG conversation with Thomas using three main phrases: "No," "Why?" "That's my (Pa, Charlotte, Bug, etc)".

He was wriggling around on my lap when he noticed that I have a mole. It's on the side of my chin, kind of near my neck, so it's not all that noticable. He asked me, "What's that?"

"That's my mole," I told him.

"No, that's MY mole!"

I'm A Real Blogger Now!

I would just like to point out that I have a blog stalker. Yay! Go Melissa! You are awesome!

Turns out she's been stalking me for two years. Which so isn't creepy. It's awesome.

And as she loved the post on boys being different ages, I'm going to add a few more details...

- I attract 2 year olds. I don't object to this. Notice the easily confused part. I like to take advantage. It gets me chocolate.
- Most of Kallie's friends are 3 year olds, including her boyfriend, Stephen.
- Most of my closer guy friends are 4 year olds.


On a vaguely related note, I had the opportunity to say "Wo Ai Ni" to the boy I like at the Missions meeting. I didn't do it. Unfortunately, everyone speaks Chinese, at least in my church. Heck, even Kallie knows what it means from watching lots and lots of dramas. So I chickened out and told him to read my blog. I bet he won't.

And yes, he's two. What can I say? I have a type.

I Teach Chinese

Yes, that's right! I taught Harry how to speak Chinese!

What? I hear you say. YOU don't even speak Chinese.

Minor details. Besides, I can say all the important phrases:

Ni How. Whoa Jao Samantha. Sher sher ni. (Hello, my name is Samantha, thank you very much.)

Pu yer sur. Mama cwy lalor. (Don't cry. Mum's coming later)

And today I learnt (from the internets no less - adoption blogs are awesome!) Whoa I Ni. (I love you).

So then Ale taught me: Ni I Whoa Ma? (Do you love me?)

And those two phrases were what I taught Harry.

Hilarious!

Boys and Ages

I've recently annoyed a few of my friend who are boys by telling them that they are acting like a _ year old. Eventually, I realised that they just can't help it. Boys are all either 2, 3, or 4.

A 4 Year Old Is:
- Hilariously funny, especially when they don't mean to be
- Unintentionally dodgy
- Very serious about things
- Requires extensive teasing

Some Four Year Olds Include:
- Joab
- Justin
- Hoang

A Three year old is:
- Naughty
- Will aim to get away with anything they possibly can
- Drives you up the wall
- Never shut up

Some Three Year Olds Include:
- Stephen
- Lionel
- Adam

A Two Year Old Is:
- Sweet and kind
- Easily befuddled when you talk fast and use big words. This is useful if you want to get your own way
- Not all that fun to tease because they don't get it

Some Two Year Olds Include:
- Shaun Rimos
- Ken
- David


Incidentally, three year old children are, in my opinion, terrible. Two and four year olds are obviously awesome. But I must say, boys who are three are way more acceptable to general society that someone who actually is three.

Things that Make Me Happy (At Work)

Here are some completely random things at work that make me happy:

Thalia looks like a muppet. A MUPPET! It's hilarious!

Edmund's dad looks like Hiro from Hero.

(Not Edmund's dad)

Asher can't remember my name, so he calls me honey. He will try to get my attention by following me about shouting "Honey! Honey! Honey!"

Lara saying that Kallie and Stephen would "get married, and have puppies."

Congratulations!

To Kallie and SAtephen, who are now officially a couple!


You go guys!

I Want A Sword

Who wouldn't?

Battle Swords in Action from Douglas Phillips on Vimeo.

Up For Grabs

Item number one:

Bewitched: the Complete Second Season.
Never been watched, but not in its wrapping.


More items will appear by-and-by, as I go through my stuff.

Comment if you want it. It's free!

Please Pray

Yesterday I was home sick. I had been sick on Sunday and Monday, and had taken Tuesday off as well, only to find that I felt all right, except for being a bit tired. I busied myself doing small bits and pieces (like some awesome artwork).

Then, about 3:30, there was a knock on the door. A tradie was there.

"Hi, I'm here to inspect the house for demolition. My paperwork says that there aren't any tenents, but I noticed soem of your things through the window."

"Yeah, um, we live here."

"Well, the landlord sent me over to inspect for demolition. Thought you should know."


Long story short: we phone the Real Estate, who had no idea what was going on. She phoned the landlord, who said she had no idea what was going on. Except that I saw the paper the tradie had, and it said both our address and the landlord's name on it. So she knew.

We've had a few surveyers etc come out recently, which hasn't been a problem, because lots of places send surveyers. But demolishers? And telling them that there are no tenents is dodgy and I think illegal.

What we think is happening is that the landlord has not told us or the Real Estate agent because she wants us kept in the dark so she can kick us out with only 28 days notice. If we know, we might leave sooner, and that would equal less rent for her. Except that we now know, and we are now looking for a smaller place.

So we are moving, sometime soon. I'll have a few bits and pieces on offer for anyone who wants them (a massive TV for one) because we don't want to have to move some things, especially if our place is smaller.

So Praise God that I was home, and that we therefore found out! Normally I would be at work, and no one would be at home.

Please pray that I recover from my shock (I was very distressed about it, and that's why I was quieter than usual at Corporate Prayer) and that we find a perfect place SOON so we can move out and leave this stress behind us.

Thanks all.

Another Drawing

is finally being posted:

Sam Is Dorky

I was really excited, because it's now easier to read all of my books. Normally I flip through them and think, "I'm not reading this, the print is ridiculous," and read something easier.

So when I picked up The Fundamentals (volume 1) and was uber happy that the print was now with the awesome. I was so thrilled, I said to Kallie,

"Now I can read The Fundamentals! I wanted to read a book insulting the school of German Higher Critism from 1917!"

Kallie looked at me. "Did Shaun know this when he said that you looked like a dork?"

"No. Why?"

"Because if he did, then I completely forgive him."

Sam Is Blind

I've been generally under the weather lately. It's winter, and I've kind of come to expect it. I was hoping that all would be awesome with the general avoidance of allergens, but I've still not been great, even when I am really good.

And so it slipped past my radar unnoticed.

I haven't had an eye check since primary school. And I was always feeling tired, my eyes were getting sore, and I was getting a lot of headaches. Eventually, I clicked, and went to get my eyes tested.

Blind.

I am no longer the only person in my family without glasses.

I am shortsighted, not that much, and I need to wear my glasses all the time.

I got them on Saturday, so I got to wear them for church yesterday. Here are the three best reactions (in order of occurance):

Joab: Is your hair styled different? (I glare.) Oh, maybe it's just the glasses. (I punch him towards his glasses, but stop before I get there, because glasses are expensive).

Lionel: You know, you actually look not too bad in glasses. (Okay, I only like that one because I'm vain)

Shaun: Is this someone new? (Holds out hand for me to shake. I twist it. Apparently, random acts of aggression gave the game away.) Wow, you look DORKY in glasses. I said that he was just jealous because my IQ had gone up 20 points, and now my eyes were magnified and his are normal sized.


I would just like to say, I do NOT look dorky in my glasses.

Me without glasses:


Me looking all not dorky with my awesomely dashing glasses:

Sketchbook Project

This year I decided to complete the Sketchbook Project, because it seemed like fun. I thought I'd do the flying one, so I bought that. Then I got this great idea for the Storybook one. So I bought that too.

The whole Sam doesn't have time for anything? Is about to get a whole lot less time for everything.

On the bright side, I've taken a week off. For school friends, it's the week of Hoang's concert. For church friends, it's the week of the Bible Conference. These two factors should make everyone realise why I'm taking that week off.

To cap it all, last night I realised I have about a million extra bits and pieces to do, so I think I'm going to have a breakdown. Unfortunately, they're all things only I can do (unless someone wants to go to various doctors for me) but it's going to make things even more busy. Hoping to get Wed afternoon off so I can do one drs appointment and rest before I go to a farewell party.

If anyone wants to do the Sketchbook project with me, let me know. It'll be fun, I promise! (Which incidentally is one of the potential topics!)

I Miss This

As some of you know, I used to be in the Australian Girls Choir. I wasn't very good when I was in choir (my voice didn't mature until I hit about 19 years old) but now I sing all right.

I miss singing pretty music.

And for those of you who can't understand Ye Olde English, the words are from Psalm 121.

Girl, Interrupted

I just realised something very, very important. I am NOT THE SAME CULTURE AS EVERYONE AT CHURCH.

AND THAT MEANS I HATE BEING INTERRUPTED.

So, pretty much in any conversation at church, I'll be interrupted. Random people will come up and talk to the other person about random "important" things, which may or may not be important, but which can wait UNTIL I HAVE FINISHED SPEAKING.

Aussie do not interrupt unless it actually is VERY important (i.e. there is a fire) or to make a point (as in "Creepy boy, stay the heck away from Kallie"). So when I am in a conversation with someone, I do not take interruptions for me. I have in fact told people, "I'm sorry, I'm busy now, please speak to me later." Result, in the rare occasions where people want to speak to me, they know to wait, because I'll blast them.

Aussie children are taught to wait until the people they want to talk to are finished. We even teach the children in care that. BECAUSE IT SHOWS GOOD BREEDING!

So the next people who interrupt any of my conversations are going to DIE. I shall say something like, "EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A BADLY BEHAVED CHILD. GO WAIT IN THE CORNER UNTIL (person I'm talking to) AND I ARE NO LONGER TALKING AND THEN YOU MAY JOIN IN THE CONVERSATION. IF YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO TALK TO BOTH OF US WAIT ON THE OUTSKIRTS UNTIL YOU CAN JOIN IN WITH AN APPROPRIATELY TIMED JOKEY COMMENT. AND THAT'S ONLY AN OPTION IF THERE ARE THREE OR MORE PEOPLE ALREADY IN THIS CONVERSATION, WHICH I LOOK AROUND AND SEE - OH LOOK, JUST TWO. NOW GET LOST!"

I'm surrounded by Asians with bad manners.

Simply Ballroom

Finally Posting on the PA Celtic Festival

It was fun and games!

I didn't do any dancing, as I was in the midst of chest infection number 1 (the one where I coughed up blood). So instead I went to about a million music performances, and in between things I wanted to see I sat in the cafe drinking tea and reading my book so that no one in my family would drag me off to their horrid musical choices. (My dad and my sister like the heavy celtic rock, which I really have to be in the mood for, and my mum's choice of music generally sucks.)

Highlight performances:

- Claire Patti. FANTASTIC.

- Siobhan Owen. She was one of my favourites from last year, and she's gotten even better, especially in her harp playing. She's only 16, so if you're interested in celtic music then expect to hear more about her.


- Liminality. Sure, they're a bit hippie, and hippies aren't exactly in my good books at the moment, seeing as I'm hate-filled and intolerant. But seriously, their music is wonderful. Uncle Rob (one of my 3 non-related uncle Rob's - and yes, I have related Uncle Robs, and Bobs, and cousins and I'm confused already) wants me to burn their CDs for him.

- Eric Bogle. Pretty funny. He's mostly known for his anti-war songs, but my favourite songs of his were "White Anglo Saxon Male" and Nobody's Moggie Now.


And finally Beoga was pretty awesome. Lively celtic music with some jazz thrown in, but not too rocky for me. The guy of the bodhran was pretty awesome on it, which vaguely makes me want to learn the bodhran. Of course, I'm supposed to actually practise the harp first. On the other hand, I do have a bodhran (at my dad's) and a video and several books (video with me, books at my mum's - we like to share everything around - we're like communists that way).

While we were busy soaking up the sounds, my brother Robert was endangering his role as the favoured son. He's nearly 16, so what do you do when your mum is at your dad's and your two older sisters are there, leaving you with just your 18 year old brother? That's right, you throw a party. Hey, I did it when I was 16.

Of course, I did not advertise it on facebook.

Nor did I open the door and let everyone who wanted to enter walk in without me seeing them because I was too busy making out to care.

Yeah, Robert's not so smart.

JW moved in for the kill on the position as favoured son. When things got out of control he phoned the police. And then phoned them back. And back again.

Next Door (we have two houses, one of them is called "Next Door" and that's where the party was) was TRASHED. Graffitied, windows smashed, stuff stolen.

JW phoned Mum. She woke me up with her shouting.

Robert got to be driven up to PA and enjoy Beoga. I don't know that he enjoyed it, but I expect it was better than the grounding that he's getting, which is lasting until the end of the year, and includes no facebook or networking sites.

It was an eventful weekend.

Alice

Finally posting some of my drawings again. Now to actually do some drawing...

Sleep-Deprived Rant

I haven't blogged for a while, and I have a bunch of posts in my head, but I'm mostly too tired to do any of them.

Sick. Again. Another cold that is in the process of settling into my chest. I've been coughing up awesome coloured phlem on a regular basis now. As long as it isn't red, because that kinda freaks me out. That said, I think if I cough up blood twice in one winter I'll just about give up on life. Apparently I look dreadful; everyone at work has commented.

Still haven't posted about the PA Celtic Festival. We should get lots of people to go next year. We can all sit in the church service and bag it for its terrible theology.

Speaking of terrible theology, Ruth's sermon sucked. I am apparently not the only person who thought so, but I forced Jas to listen to about 10 minutes of me ranting about its horrendeousness.

Now that that complaint is out of my system, I feel better about myself.

Baby Erin wants to run over her new staff member with a tractor. Coincidentally, there is a tractor parked outside of my house.

I have the sweetest little African dolls. I love them, and am going to buy more when I have the energy to go to Chaddy. Which will be never.

HEY! Lots of people owe me birthday presents! GIMME STUFF! Or else I shall be sad and cry and cry.

Tomorrow I get to spend the whole day on the computer and tidying the storeroom! Yay! They are driving me CRAZY!

151 books to read.

Off to cough up plegm and go to sleep. Sorry for appalling spelling and grammar y'all. I'm sleepy. I think I mentioned it once or twice.

One day I'm going to sleep.

Comment for Kids

For those of you who haven't noticed, I really like kids. I want to have not only my 'own' (read bio) kids, but plan to adopt internationally.

While children wait for a "forever family" they are usually housed in orphanages, which, depending on the area, can lack very basic and necessary things, such as toys, medical things, and in some areas even food can be in very short supply.

And for those of you who haven't heard, a adopting mother is having a comment-fest on her blog. For every comment made this week, she will donate $1 to An Orphan's Wish, which helps orphanages in China.

Another reader has pitched in and is matching the pledge.

Other readers have similar posts, and a few are giving lump sums.

Hop on over to this post on Ni Hao Y'all and comment away!

Random Bits and Pieces

So I made a Kal and Stephen watch Robin Hood. They rather enjoyed it, but I must say that Stephen would die if he really had to live in a forest. He thought that the deer were kangaroos.

It's a very English version. Lots of insults - probably wasn't suitable for me at the tender ages I was watching it. But it did give me and Kal the opportunity to explain to Stephen about why the Saxons were all great archers while the Normans sucked, and where the insulting gestures of the middle finger and the first two fingers came from. (For those of you who don't know, they are both connected to archery, and are the English (because it always was the English) telling their enemies, "Nah nah nah nah nah, I still have two fingers / my middle finger!" Because the French used to cut those fingers off so that they couldn't be used as archers. History lesson over.)

I still need to do some more posts on my drawings - I haven't for ages. True, I haven't drawn for a while, but I do have a backlog of drawings.

I also need to share infos on the Celtic Festival. It was fun, and I didn't eat many allergens. I want to post links and videos of different performers, but I'll have to look on youtube because I never remembered to take any videos.

Having today off - partially sick, and partially because it's my planning day, so I'm planning at home. I had already done all my work, so I'm having a restful day achieving some of the 21 things on my to-do list for the day before heading out for the ballet this evening. Some people say that doing 21 things is not restful, but those people are not taking into account the innate restfulness that descends when those 21 things ARE DONE.

I have 156 books to read.

As some of you know, I knit. Mostly at the moment I knit hats and donate them. I am rapidly (okay, not that rapidly, but fairly steadily) going through my wool. If anyone has any half-balls of wool that they want to give me, then that would be very welcome. A full ball of wool will usually make about 4 hats, and I use smaller amounts to make stripes, so even very small amounts are welcome.

That's about it. Now to start doing things on my list. And no, blogging wasn't one of them.

Coco

We have a new housemate. Meet Coco!

I love her because now that she is here Desperado's bestest buddy has disappeared! No more mousey! YAY!


Oh, her owner moved in too. Her name is Lee. Lee is good, but she doesn't get rid of mice.

Sam loves cats.

Stephen Is Will Scarlet

So I told a few people about my dream, the response was amusing. The best though, has definitely been Stephen.

He has decided that he IS Will Scarlet.

I leant him some of my Robin Hood books and he has been reading them like the over-eager boy he is, and then at random times he texted me and Kal his responses.

"Holy cow! Will Scarlet! So cool! I will now go find a scarlet cap with a fine cock feather."

And when he got to the end of the book,
"Robin Hood died! I'm so sad! I'm close to tears! How could he die? :-("

I replied that one of the factors involved was the fact that he was from the 14th century. That'll kill you every time.

"But but... His cousin betrayed him! And killed him! She should be tried for murder!"

I consoled him with the offer to go to England and dig her up and burn her bones. I don't think that consoled him, because he was too sad to buy us the mouse-traps we needed. At least we don't need them any more.

He eventually consoled himself...
"Today is 'Go to Work as Will Scarlet day'. Together with my suit I am wearing a hat (lacking a red feather) white shirt with red lines, red cardigan and red socks. I am Will Scarlet!"

The sad/funny thing is, everyone at his work thought he looked good.

Oh well.

Whoops, Sorry

Sorry Joab. Just realised that when you were trying to show me the photo it was because you were showing off, and not sharing details. I promise to let you be a normal boy and let you show off.

That's it for now.

I Love It When I Dream In Narrative

So, a few nights ago, I dreamed about Robin Hood. It was a full on story, complete with characters (mostly played by people I know) and a intricate subplot.

Here is it basically.

Normans hate Saxons. For some reason, the Saxons are all my friends from church. Read, if you're Saxon, you now are Asian. Normans are white. Which at least makes sense. If you're Saxon, you wear moden clothes, but the Normans got to wear awesome costumes. It was all in castles, but with modern technology, so I got to watch a "WANTED" add for Robin on TV.

I am Maid Marian. Marian is cousins with Lady Kelsey. Lady Kelsey is in love with Will Scarlet. (Played by Stephen.) They get caught, Uncle is not happy, locks Kelsey away in a tower, and Will heads to the forest to join the handsome Robin Hood (sorry, you're outta luck with details!)

Marian comes to the rescue. She delivers a messege from Kelsey to Will, and in doing so, meets the handsome Robin Hood. Robin teaches her how to sword fight.

Marian then gets caught, and also gets locked in the tower.

Clearly Robin is buffer than Will (sorry Stephen) because he climbs up the ivy (Romeo and Juliet style) to converse with Marian.

Lots of fights ensure.

The castle is burnt down.

Marian and Kelsey join Robin and Will in the Forest. They all get married by Friar Tuck. Clearly, Friar Tuck is Ps Ian. Friar Tuck was a Norman who sympathsized, from memory.

Awesome.

More Robin stories to come. Suffice to say, Stephen has decided that his role in life is to be the awesome Will Scarlet.

Hilarious!

A Startling Report From Scientist Samuel Phillips on Psychological Damage Caused By Exposure to the Little Black Box of Death from Douglas Phillips on Vimeo.

Robin Hood (and the thought processes of getting to him)

Was reading The Everlasting Man, and it was talking about the silliness of the popularised image of the cave-man, and then I thought about how awesome it would be to live in a cave. The recent guest preacher said bad stuff about caves. I suspect he's never been in one. Caves are awesome. For a brief while I wanted to live in one, but then I realised the error of my ways, and went back to my first abodal love - the tree house.

Recently my Mum was talking about how Julie and I designed our own tree house and wanted to live in it. My instant response was that I still want to live in one.

Stephen recently said that Shaun isn't Chinese, he's from a tribe. He (Stephen, not Shaun) danced for us the Chinese Hukka, which was hilarious. He then said they live in tree-houses. So I looked up the people group (Karda-something-or-other). They do in fact live in tree houses. I however, am slightly sceptical. How could Shaun have lived in a tree-house, if he didn't spend the majority of his childhood playing Robin Hood?

Which brings me to the point. Robin Hood. Awesome.

Best book: Enid Blyton's Tales of Brave Adventure. Enid is so under-rated. Seriously, as if you can doubt Julian's hotness. (Sidetracked for a second. Back to Robin Hood).

Best movie: Robin Hood. Oh My Goodness! I love this movie. It was my favourite movie until I saw The Princess Bride, and that overtook. So now that I'm reminded I have to buy it on Amazon. Hey! It was my birthday yesterday, and I haven't bought myself enough presents! The spending of over $150 of Vision Forum products means NOTHING when compared to the need for online retail therapy.

Here is a review of this film.

This used to be what I watched every time I was sick. As I was sick quite a lot as a kid, I used to be able to quote a whole lot of it by heart. And I was always surprised when the boy turned out to be Marion, no matter how many times I watched it. Fantastic.

I probably won't see the new Robin Hood. Robin Hood should be YOUNG. YOUNG I SAY! RUSSEL CROWE IS NOT YOUNG! HE IS OLD! SAM NOT LIKE!

Now that that's out of my system, I'll see it if it's on TV, or for really cheap on DVD. But to pay good money to see it in cinemas? I'll go see that 3D dance movie first. I like dance movies, even if the acting is terrible. It's all about the dance.

Distracted. Robin Hood.

So, one of the many reasons why the above Robin Hood is awesome is that it is hilarious.

Here's the trailer. Doesn't have most of the best lines though.


Spent money. All is right with the world.

On A Birthday Related Note

Desperado has done a birthday post about me. And as there is a simply smashing photo of me (sorry for the phony British accent there) on it, you had all better click on over.

Apparently, I am very awesome. What can I say? I just am.

At Least I'm Improving

In my drawing. This is not my favourite drawing. Oh well. I do keep getting better.


And incidentally, my cough seems slightly better today. I love antibiotics!

I'm Not Dying

I apparently have a chest infection. Dr thinks that the blood was from a burst blood vessel in my wind-pipe, and that all should be good with antibiotics. If not then I get to be treated as suspected pneumonia and get chest x-rays and then probably a whole lot more fun like IV antibiotics. But at least no hospital on my birthday.

On the bright side, I took tomorrow off too. And I did lots of fun art today. And spent money on fun art supplies. That was fun. Sam like art.

Sam like not coughing blood. It's Sam's favourite.

Don't Panic Steph!

DON'T PANIC. I am going to the Drs tomorrow!

Why? I just coughed up blood. And yes, me blogging about it does make me like that celebrity who blogged as her house was being robbed.

So I am going to the drs tomorrow, even though it is my birthday.

What a sucky birthday present. I bet it was all my jokes about getting pneumonia so that I would get engaged.

Where's my man? If I'm going to cough up blood I want at least a boyfriend from this!

This would explain general malaise, tiredness, low fever symptoms, and being even more grumpy and depressed than usual.

Stupid body.

Where's my boy? This is not fair.

Drs are not my favourite. Hopefully I get out of more work.

Brown Girl

This is my first drawing after lesson 2.



More drawings later, but I'm going to start on lesson 3.

Best Sentence Ever

Hanging up the phone, I realized that I just agreed to adopt a baby without discussing it with my husband. Oops.


From this post at Baker's Dozen.

Oh No, I Taught Maryam to Swear

Several of you have heard about Maryam, one of my work collegues. In case you don't know, or have forgotten, she's a very sweet, shy, Iranian Muslim lady who has been interested in Jesus.

Well, Jenna was talking to Maryam, explaining an assignment that she had to do. She had to get a box of random bits and pieces and see what the children would make of it.

"Oh yes, I understand," said Maryam. "Bits of, bits of c-r-a-p."

"Maryam!" Jenna said. "Where did you learn that word?"

"Oh, Sam use it sometimes. It means little bits of things not really useful, but maybe useful."

Jenna then explained to her that in other contexts, c-r-a-p was not a good word, and was in fact, a swear word.

She then told me about it. "The funny thing was, that was the exact word I was thinking, but was trying not to use!"

Dancer

My Hair Is Exactly the Same

Last Sunday, Shaun came up to me with a glare on his face. "You've done a grave, grave thing," he said.

"What?" I said, completely confused.

"You CUT your HAIR."

"I didn't." Shaun looked sceptical. "Really I didn't." It took a bit of convincing, but I think he ended up convinced that I hadn't cut my hair BECAUSE I HADN'T.


Tuesday, and Ilanit, one of our regular relievers, was in. "Oh, Sam, look at your hair! Did you cut it? It looks nice!"

"No, I did not cut it, but thanks."


Wednesday, and Maryam looked at me strangely. "Is your hair different?"

"No, it is exactly the same as it was yesterday, and all the days before that."

"You didn't colour it?"

"No, I've never coloured my hair."

Ilanit joined in, saying how I looked really different, very nice. They then started talking about all the different things they thought I had done to my hair. I tried to tell them that I'd done nothing, but to no avail. Not until Alethea joined in and said, "She hasn't done anything to her hair, she's in love." Which at least sent the conversation in a whole new direction.


Friday, and I was sitting in the staffroom, and Simone looked at me. "Is your hair different?"

"No, it isn't. But everyone keeps asking me that."

"Hmm, that's strange. It looks different. It suits you."


Saturday evening, and I was out with friends for Winnie's party. Adam and Hoang came to pick me up. Adam looked at me and asked, "Have you straightened your hair or something?"

"Adam, I was BORN with STRAIGHT HAIR. I have not done anything to my hair."

"It looks good, whatever you did to it."

"I didn't do anything to it, Apparently it's because I'm in love."

"Is it with me?"

"Nope."

"Oh well. Your hair looks nice anyway."

Sleepy Sam

Faith of a Child

Sorry for the lack of actual blogging, rather than just the posting of my recent drawings. Not so much has happened lately; I've only really got two stories to share. So here's one of them:

I was in the 4yo kinder, and we were talking. No one talks like a four year old. They just don't. And someone asked me when I was going to have a baby.

Sasha jumped in, and said, "She's not, because she isn't MARRIED."

"That's right," I confirmed.

This only brought on a new question, this time from Sasha. "So Sam, when are you going to get married?"

"Don't know." I said. "But if I get married this year, you can be my flower girl. So pray hard for me to get married."

Sasha instantly stopped what she was doing and closed her eyes. About 30 seconds later she opened them.

"I want to wear pink," she said

Spanish Dancer

Me Back In the Old Days

Actually, almost any drawing of me as a petit doll has long hair.

After Lesson 1

Auntie Nikki

We had the trivia night on Saturday. It was me, Kal, my dad, my sister, and Uncle Don and Auntie Nikki. Uncle Don and Auntie Nikki are not blood relations, they are what I term "Chinese Aunties". All the same, Auntie Nikki and my sister are basically the same person. Julie showed Auntie Nikki a photo of her snake. Auntie Nikki looked at Uncle Don and he said, "You're NOT having one." Julie said that Mum had said the same thing. Then they started talking about Auntie Nikki's dogs.

Anyways, the trivia started, and I came into my own with the quotations category. I know no pop culture, but if you want to know what some dead person said, I can tell you. One of the quotes was, "He who lives by the sword dies by the sword." So I wrote Jesus. Because Jesus said it.

Dad was not convinced. "It's Cyrano de Bergerac."

"Not unless he's quoting Jesus." I said.

"I think it's Cyrano de Bergerac."

"Well, I think it's Jesus." (Incidentally, I was, and am, right.)

Auntie Nikki looked at the paper and said, "You know, I really don't think the answer is Jesus."

Dad said, "Well, Sam does, and she's a good Christian girl who reads her Bible every day, so we're going with her."

Auntie Nikki looked puzzled and said, "But I didn't know they had swords then."

Reaching Out

Green Girl

When I did this picture I really liked it. This is one of the last of my pre-lesson drawings. I get much better very quickly, so I'll start posting some of them soon. I've just completed lesson 2.

General Ramblings

I'm at home today. Feeling sick. 4 days off in under two weeks, each feeling like I'm going to vomit. Changing dirty nappies when you feel like you're going to be sick is not a great idea, so I went home on the Monday last week, and yesterday, and then both times took the day afterwards. On the bright side, I feel ok as long as I don't move around too much. So just taking it easy at home, doing some artwork, some knitting, some reading, and other bits and pieces that build up over time. What with being sick for so many days I'm actually catching up. It almost makes me want to take leave so I can catch up completely. Except I'm not allowed to take leave until Rochelle gets back, and I want to save up my leave so I can either take a proper holiday, or get lots of cash to pay for adoption fees or a wedding, whichever comes first.

Stephen sold me and Kal vitamins last night. Yay for vitamins. I'll have to actually take them - haven't yet. Waiting until I feel like eating more than 1/4 of a bowl of porridge, because you should never take vitamins on an empty stomach.

My drawings are causing Kal to speculate as to who I like. And no, it isn't who everyone thinks it is. Except that Kal now knows. So there. Everyone else is wrong. If you're not from church, feel free to phone me to talk (read, gossip) about it. If you are from church, then my mouth is shut.

Speaking of which, there are way too many boys who like Kallie and I. It's funny. None of them are doing anything. Kallie is extremely relieved. She has offered to swap her admirers for mine. Nothing doing. Her admirers are atrocious. We actually call one of them Creepy Boy. That's how much we like him. Mine are all nice, normal boys, who may or may not have a chance with me. That said, anyone has a better chance with me than Creepy Boy. He's creepy.

Half night prayer tonight. Will be interesting. Combining with other centres is always interesting. Lots of cross-centre couples. This gives Sam lots of spying opportunities. Mwa-ha-ha!

Work is ok at the moment. Getting busier, which is not great, because I am too lazy. Extra lazy at the moment, as under the weather. I shall have a nap later in preperation for the prayer meeting.

No, Steph, we do not stay home when we are sick. We go to church so that people can pray for us. I'm not contagious, but other people have come into church contagious. Joab is a terrible offender with this. The boy once came to church with the flu. I was not impressed. People with the flu need to die quietly at home and not around me.

I have CPR and epi-pen training tomorrow. And the Trivia Night. If anyone wants to come, just let me know. Last I heard we're still looking for two more people. I'm going to be a wreck by Monday.

I need groceries. I was holding out til pay-day (last night) and now I have no food in my cupboards. It makes me sad. I shall buy dairy-free chocolate, and then I shall be happy.

Carpets will be cleaned tomorrow. YAY!

Potential new housemate. Christian girl called Wen. This lead to interesting conversations with Stephen as to how to pronounce her name. He said that we were pronoucing it as When. I said, no, just because you pronounce When as Wen doesn't mean that her name becomes not-Wen. He was technically right about the pronouciation of her name, which is Chinese. I am right about the pronouciation of When. And afterwards I annoyed him by calling him Stephen Tan rather than Stephen Tahn, which is apparently how it is pronounced.

Wen is nice. I like her. She is a real librarian. Not like the Rebel, who just looked like a librarian. She asked what would make us not like her. I told her not to insult me, and to do her own dishes. She asked if she told me my hair looked bad would that be considered insulting. I said no, but saying that I was too insane to get a boyfriend would be.

Wen also took the fact that I want 20 children in her stride. Lisa, who helped Stephen sell us vitamins, nearly choked. That's the best reaction. I occasionally think about upping the numbers, just so I can get it more often. But I already scare away enough boys with the 20, so I guess it will stay like that.

Desperado's family are attempting to move from our garden to our house. I HATE MICE. I need a hero who can save me, like Stephen saved Kallie from the cockroach.

Kallie doesn't mind mice, not compared to cockroaches, which are doom to her. I tell her to wait until the mice and the cockroaches breed. Then there will be little furry cockroaches that poo everywhere. I will have a breakdown.

My sister is giving us snake skins to get rid of the mice. No mice in my house. Not with snake skins. Yes, my sister has a snake. Mum finally caved.

Off to get groceries. Hope you all enjoyed my random rambling.

Will post more artwork later. Promise.

CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!

Kilmeny of the Orchard

This is my favourite pre-lesson drawing. I've got a few more to post, then I'll start on my awesome post-lesson drawings.

I Stalk Shaun Over the Internets

As some of you may remember from an earlier post, poor Shaun wasn't on my photo frame. Well, obviously that's not okay, so I decided to stalk him so that I could have a photo of him to show all the kiddos.

That's right, I'm a stalker.

Actually, photos of people from our church are very easy to come by, even when you don't have facebook. Antonius has a photo site. That's where I got my picture.



So I was showing the kids my new pictures, I said, "This is my friend Shaun. I had to stalk him over the internet to get a picture of him where he wasn't dressed as an Incredible."

Maddie, who used to think Shaun was the best, was very disappointed that he wasn't dressed as an Incredible. "Yeah, well my Mummy stalks people on the internet all the time," she told me, unimpressed.

I was then showing the kids on my room (okay, I was being mauled until I did), so I said how I used to only have a photo of him dressed as an Incredible..."

Lucy (staff member, not kid) looked up from half-way across the room. "As an Incredible."

"Red lycra tights and all."

With that, Hunter (a kid) ran over, took a look at the picture frame, said, "He looks good," and ran off.

Away Soon

I'm not holding any kind of birthday celebration. I've had way too many things on to arrange one, and I'm away the weekend after (in Port Arlington, for the Celtic festival).

So for people who want to give me presents (hopefully lots and lots of people - Sam loves presents) be aware that I am away for the long weekend.

If anyone wants to experience the awesomeness of my family and the actual awesomeness of Celtic culture then let me know via comment, email, or text, and I'll arrange.

UPDATE: Wrong weekend. I'm away for the Queen's Birthday weekend, which is th 12th to the 14th of June.

Friends at the Wedding

Elena tries to look dodgy, and almost suceeds. Good thing for her she really is dodgy.


Stephen. For once he isn't wearing a waistcoat.


Alicia is blurry. Be assured that she isn't as blurry in real life.


Kallie hides behind her program. I think she looks quite fetching. I also think she's going to kill me.


Hey, there is a picture of me not wearing my jacket! I look better in the drawing. There are a few other photos of me sans-jacket floating about. Shaun took one, and Allan did. Kallie has some artsy pics of me wearing the jacket, which I expect Desperado will upload.

More Wedding Photos

They sing to each other.


Dhany and Cassandra share. Predictions as to the next wedding anyone...


Kelvin and Eliada share.


Ps Ian does his thing


Vows are made...


And finally they kiss...


Photos of people who aren't living in a state of wedded bliss are to come!

Photos From Chiann & Anton's Wedding - The Wedding Proper - Part 1

Anton Waits


The Groomsmen


The Bride Enters...



And more later...

Drawing Chiann & Anton's Wedding

Before I post all my photos and blog about Chiann and Anton's wedding, I thought I'd show you all my drawings from it. There are just two.

This is Chiann and Anton. They are feeling each others' arms. Mostly it is because I don't like to draw hands.


This is me in my awesome dress. Mostly I'm posting this one because it was too cold for anyone to see my dress. Except I occasionally took off my jacket for photos. And no, I am not that skinny in real life.


I'll post real pictures later.

I finally get it!

I was always wondering why Yoko was sitting knitting blindolded in the background. People were always like, "What the heck is Yoko doing?" And people replied to the effect of, "Who knows? They're awesome but weirdos."

I get it!

It's a reference to the fates from Greek mythology!

I feel so smart.

Work Funnies

From Maryam
I finally brought in my family photo. It is minus my brother John-Wayne, but other than that, it's complete. I was showing Maryam. "Wow, Sam! You are very pretty! Oh, you're brother [Robert] looks a lot like you. Wow, your mother is very fat. Maybe you will be very fat too after you have children."


From Nicole
Nicole is going to America for 4 months. She is awesome in the Toddler room, and so I am sad she is going.
"Don't worry, I'll be back in 4 months."
"You know, I may be gone by then. I may be married with a kid on the way."
"I hope not."
"Hey!"
"I'm sorry, but it'd be sad working here without you. So at least wait until I get back."


From Alethea
Alethea was sick for the last two weeks. She had pneumonia. She cam back on Monday with a massive rock on her finger. That's right, the girl got engaged.
"Yeah, my boyfriend thought I was going to die, so he was like, "I need to get a hold of her!""
"You know, I had pneumonia, and I did not get proposed to."
"Did you have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"That's where you went wrong."

A Fairy Sleeps

I'm about to sign up for the Petit Dolls class. Anyone care to do it with me?

The Chickadees Get Religious

It's interesting working in childcare. There are so many different kids, and they are so honest about everything. And the awesome thing is that so many of them have such a great faith.

Sophie was sitting down with several other children and a staff member, reading a book. All of the sudden, she pumped her fist into the air. "Jesus lives!" she shouted.


Sasha's birthday is in May. She is having a birthday party (apparently she is going to invite me). She has asked for a Jesus cake. Apparently the baker can in fact make this for her. She told me it's because she really loves Jesus, so He gets to be part of her birthday party.


Ingrid was eating dinner (with her family, at home) when she said in an accusatory tone, "Mum, why didn't you take me to church today?"

"Because it's Tuesday..." said her Mum.

"You never take me to church!"

"I did! On Sunday."

"We should go more often. Can we go tomorrow?"


Ingrid also says grace before all meals, including now at work. She sings, ala nun style, "Thank-you-Lord-for-this-food, A-a-a-MEN!"


And from my memories, Ella (Sophie's big sister) used to preach to the other kids. She actually stood on her chair at lunchtime and told them all that Matthew 52:16 said that Jesus loved them, and that they needed to love Jesus, and ask Jesus to live in their hearts.


And if you want to re-read any old posts about similar awesome things my Chickadees have said, click on some of these links:
- That's Right Zoe
- Obviously I am Winning When It Comes To Desperation
- Bella Ella

I Like To Walk In The Rain

I think I'm a Geek

What are you?

Trivia Night

My brother's school is having a trivia night on the 15th of May, and Mum wants lots of people for teams. Kal and I are going, and I thought I'd put up a general notice. If you are smart, I'm going to put you on my team. (Hey, I'm competative.)

Starts around 7, finishes around 11.

Also, my birthday is coming up. I'm debating the merits of a party. What does everyone think?

The Chickadees Strike Again

I've already mentioned the popularity of my photo frame - especially when Joab features. But there is more to the photo frame than just teaching small children to bag Joab. No. I teach them to bag Shaun too, and get them to expect everyone to have babies, and even (in my rare more noble moments) get some of them to pray for orphans.

Here are a selection of children and their favourite aspects of the photo frame.

Sophia: Like Sophie, Sophia thinks that Joab is about the most awesome person on it. Unlike Sophie, she doesn't say much. But I take her around with me to show all the adults her impressions. "What do you think of Joab?" Sophia screws up her face and says "YUCK!" in her most delighted-disgusted voice.

Maddie thinks Shaun is the best. Which is extra hilirious, because he isn't ON the photo frame. When my old computer got nicked I lost all my photos but the ones on my blog. And the only photo of Shaun was of him dressed as an Incredible.

So after Joab, Maddie tells me: "That's where your photo of your friend Shaun would go. Except you don't have any photos of him, except where he's dressed as an Incredible. And THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE FOR SCHOOL. (She pauses.) Actually, it wasn't that appropriate for church either, but that didn't stop Shaun.

Lara (who by the way is about the cutest thing on two legs) doesn't like any of the boys. The moment she sees my photo frame she only wants to see one person. "Harper! Harper!" I remind her that we need to ask God to take care of Harper, because her Mummy has to get her on a plane.

Sasha thinks that Steph and T are the best. "When Steph feels better she's going to have a baby," she tells me. "But she's not forty yet, so she doesn't need to rush." Sasha's parents had her and her brother late.

Allison likes Stephen and friend. "[Girl] wants two babies, but Stephen wants three. [Girl] said, "No way, if I'm going to have three, I'm going to have four." [Girl] is right. Three would just fight."

Finally, Thomas doesn't care what pictures are up. He doesn't even look at them. He just likes to press the buttons on the back.

The Brown-Haired Maiden

The words down the bottom are my very bad rememberances of a traditional German song.

Dancing In Moonlight

She May Have Trashed the Joint, But At Least She Left

While I was at the fashion show, Rebecca decided to move out. Haisun and her parents came over to help. They might have moved her stuff, but they gave us some nice additions to our carpet.




(Incidentally, it looks worse in real life.)
She apparently expects her bond this week, and was surprised that we were still going to make her pay for part of the cost of steam cleaning the carpet.

She's not. She gonna be paying all of it.

I Am A VIP at a Fashion Show

Today I went to a fashion show for charity. The charity was the Short Statured People of Australia. I was a VIP. We got a table at the front reserved for us.


The brand was Vigorella.


We also got champagne, but everyone got that.


The SSPA President. (Sorry for the lousy quality of pictures here on out. I have a new camera, and I am not great at taking photos at the best of times.)


The designer.


Models. When I was telling Stephen about the event, he wanted to know if there was going to be dwarf models. I said I didn't think so. I was wrong.




My Mum is buying me two dresses.



I also got two free tops. One is purple, and one is red. I haven't tried on either of them yet, but I will later.