Running to Extremes

Well, I'm not exactly known for doing things by halves.  So as a result, I'm planning to do the Tough Mudder next year (in September).  I'm a bit crazy that way.

Yes, I do know that the Tough Mudder involves running about 20km through mud with obstacles including electricity and fire (neither of which bother me at all, though Kal's freaking a little over the electricity and me having a heart problem) and small tunnels that can be filled with mud and water (which freaks me more than a little) and swimming through ice-cold water (which will pain me).

One of my friends has volunteered to join me.  So if you are crazy like me, or are actually fit, then feel free to join us.  Otherwise, I'll understand.

This is obviously involving lots of training.  I can run about 10km, though not at all fast and occasionally I have to stop to walk for a bit.  I completely lack upper body strength, and core strength, and general fitness, so I'm working on those.

And I'm actually doing well.  I feel fitter, and several people have asked me if I've lost weight (some approvingly, others not) (I haven't - in fact I've put ON 200g, which for me is a triumph.  I've basically been 50kg or more for less than a month of my life, and my GP wanted me to reach that when I was 16... 28 and not yet there...).

So I'm challenging myself...

And yes, at the Tough Mudder, you must sign a death waiver.

Not quite yours then...

At placement, some of the children were arguing over a Woody doll. It belonged to one of the children (i.e. it was a "home toy"), so I returned it to her. The boy who was arguing for it, told me, "But I NEED it." "It isn't yours though," I told him. "I've got one, but I left it." "Oh no, you left it at home? You can maybe bring it another day." "No, not at home. I left it at Target."

Exciting News

I am once again a home owner. I have had settlement on my property in Noble Park.

As long as I never need to go there, I love the place!

Getting Fit

Life is busy at the moment. Aside from working almost full time and studying full time and serving in church and going on mission trips and running three blogs and making art, I've recently decided that I need to be much fitter. Because at the moment, I'm not.

Until recently, I've had absolutely zero motivation to do any form of exercise aside from occasional dancing. I was quite simply too sick and too tired to do any such thing. But this year I've been getting my energy back (with the occasional result of me trying to do more than is humanly possible) and now I actually feel like I should be moving.

So I started jogging.

I also joined a gym.

In the few weeks I've been exercising, I've already taken 12 minutes off of my run times. Yeah, that only says how bad I was at the beginning. My run is about 4.22km. And no, I still don't run (or even jog) the entire thing.

The bright side is I could definitely do a 5km fun run (as long as they let me walk some of it!)

My current time (22.08 - not when this post shows, scheduling posts is the only way I can keep up the blogging with no internet at home) is 34 minutes. The internet tells me it "should" take me around 25-30 minutes. I'm hoping to get there soonish.

On the gym front - I worked out that if I go to 1 class a week, I've broken even. So my minimum is 1 class a week (I'm not such a fan of the machines, so I've only used them 2 or three times). It's Wednesday today, and I've been to 4 already this week. So I've getting my money's worth.

My favourites are the dancing ones - Sh'bam and Zumba. I also really like CXWorks, and boxing was also fun. I'm trying out pretty much everything.

I have a PT, which the guy who signed me up said was his "absolute favourite trainer", which I assumed was a code word for a PT who needed another client. Yesterday though, I saw him training with her, so that's pretty good.

I've also done some cycle classes, which resulted in me being slightly saddle sore, but I promised JW that next year I would do a fundraiser bike-ride in memory of his friend. SO YOU ALL BETTER SPONSOR ME! I think he's signing us up for the 20km (which I can do on the machines, but on the road it'll be a different story), but he could be crazy and sign us up for the 60km, because he said he might do that. In which case, YOU ALL BETTER SPONSOR ME LOTS AND LOTS BECAUSE I MIGHT DIE AND THEN MY ORGANS WILL BE DONATED AND AT LEAST THE CHARITY WILL GET SOMETHING, IF ONLY MY ORGANS. (Do you htink they'll want my organs? I mean, seriously? My liver's good, and a few other things, but my lungs and my heart? Well, they're probably better than the ones they have.)

So I am alive, well, and getting buff.

I think all this running has made me crazy. Not enough oxygen to the brain, I expect.

Dumb Comments

It amazes me the amount of utterly stupid things that some people say about Africa. Really, REALLY dumb things. Here's the one that I think takes the cake.

Dummy: I really want to go on a mission trip to Africa.

Me: Great. Where in Africa?

D: You know, AFRICA.

Me: Anywhere specific.

D: Maybe the Congo. Or Liberia. Those states in Africa.

Me: Right. (Thinking, you're joking. You just called two countries states. And those two countries are nowhere near each other, and speak different languages, even the European languages. You just want to go because they've been mentioned before at church events.)

D: But I was wondering, when you move there, how will you learn the language?

Me: In Uganda, the national language is English. But I'm working on learning Luganda at the moment, and I plan to start working on Lugisu next year, when I'm not studying and so have more time.

D: (getting really excited) You know what you should do? There's this boy, in the _____ centre. He's from Zimbabwe. You should get HIM to teach you!

Me: He's from Zimbabwe?

D: Yeah!

Me: I don't think he's going to speak Luganda or Lugisu.

D: Of course he speaks African, he's from Zimbabwe!

Me: I'll keep it in mind (so I can blog about this later!)

Boudicca Song

So funny!

African Exam Answers

I marked an exam in Africa (for P4, or approx grae 3). Some of the answers were hilarious, so I recorded them for the blog.

Write Saturday in short form:
STD


Write Sun in full
Sunshine


Charity Begins...
Charity begins... the work
Charity begins... crying
Charity begins... with the letter "C"
Charity begins... talking


As black as...
Chuckle

Adults Say the Dumbest Things

I spend a lot of time on this blog chronicling some of the awesome things that “my” children say. And a lot of time chronicling some of the hilarious things that people from church say (especially Joab and Shaun, who have provided so much of the material for this blog, that if I made any money, I would probably have to start paying their rent). But this post is to demonstrate some of the REALLY DUMB things adults have said in the past few weeks, mostly at work, and the responses I’ve thought (but haven’t said).

Parent A: I’m really concerned about my child’s language development.
There is no reason to be concerned that your seven month old is not talking. You might, however, want to be concerned about the fact that he weighs over a quarter of what I do.

Parent B: We took our child home last night, and he was all FLOPPY.
Your six month old was “floppy” when you took them home after 6PM? Your six month old who just sat up?

Parent B: You must feed him up. We want him to be BIG STRONG MAN.
Beefcake. BEEFCAKE!

Parent B: He got tonsillitis. So you must be careful, and do not let him use another child’s dummy again, because he was very sick.
Um, fairly certain tonsillitis isn’t contagious. And if it was, you’d think that another child in the room would have it. And if you want him to only use his own dummy MAYBE YOU SHOULD LABEL IT WITH MORE THAN A WHITEBOARD MARKER.

Parent C: Please rug our daughter up if you have the air-conditioners on. They give her gas.
Is she sitting in front of them, swallowing the air they spit out?

Reliever: Where have all the BRIGHT children gone?
They moved up. Because they weren’t bright (well, brighter than the children still in our room). They were older. And thanks for implying our babies, most of whom are less than a year, are stupid because they aren’t walking and talking. Jerkface.

In which I try to buy drugs

So, I was getting a killer cold. Normally, I just suffer the germs, and if I need to, take a day off. But at the moment I’m way too busy to be sick, so I decided to buy some cold and flu tablets. The real ones, not the fake herbal ones with vitamin c and Echinacea.

Anyway, I went to the chemist, and asked for some. The chemist asked for ID. I looked at her as though she was crazy. I mean, if you’ve read my story about me trying to buy alcohol, you will know that I don’t have any ID. Still, I try my working with children card.

The chemist tries to enter it, and after five minutes comes back and tells me that the system will ONLY allow for driver’s licenses or passports. Nothing else.

I thought that was strange. I mean, seriously.

“We have other cold and flu medicine.”

At this point I was feeling rather desperate, and I didn’t want to go all the way home to get my passport and then come back. I asked if the alternative was herbal or real medicine. It was real medicine. They got it, and showed me. It was indeed real medicine.

“So what’s the difference?” I asked. I mean, why can I buy this one without any trouble, and the other one I have to be able to fly out of the country in order to buy.

“The schedulings different.”

I tried to get her to explain, but she just told me that it meant it was the same, but that it was different. I left with cold and flu tablets, but confused.

But half-way home I realised: the passport number cold and flu are the type you can turn into amphetamines, and the other ones you must not be able to. I guess watching Glee teaches you things!

If only she had just told me!

Robin Hood and Guns

I was over at kids church, and tehy were playing games. I don't play games. I don't play them at life group, I don't play them at kids church. If I had been a kid at kids church, I would not have played games. Because games are terrible.

(Okay, I've played a few okay games. Role playing is fun. And a few other games. But we don't play those games. We play races or rhythm games or other things. I'd rather shoot myself.)

I said this, and the others were all horrified. "You didn't like games?"

"I liked real games. Fun games. Like playing Robin Hood."

This drew only blank looks. Turns out that Megan has never played Robin Hood. Evelyn has never played Robin Hood. Auntie Daisy has never played Robin Hood. None of the musicians had ever played Robin Hood.

I finally turned to Ben, the one child there at that time, and asked him.

"Robin Hood?" I explained it to him. You pretend you're Robin Hood, or someone else in the Merrie Men if there are lots of you. Then you shoot arrows at enemies. It's FUN. FUN I SAY.

"Oh yeah, I think I played that," Ben said. "Only we didn't use bows and arrows. We used guns."