Friday, 29 July 2011

That Explains It

The children often tell me where their parents are. "My daddy's at work," is obviously the most common one. But sometimes we get some surprises...

Thalia looked at me and told me that her daddy was at work.

"Oh, and where's your mummy?" I asked.

"She's shopping."

Jude then told me that his daddy was at work, "making money". Thalia said, "My daddy's got money."

"Oh, who else has got money in your family."

"Me. And my doggy."

"What about your mummy?" I asked.

"No," said Thalia, like I was some kind of crazy. "My mummy goes shopping."

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Another 9, and I'll have my 20...

Most people know that I want 20 children. Yes, I accept I'm mad, but I do. I don't expect for all of these kids to be bio kids - I always wanted to adopt, from before I was 10.

But I recently aquired another sponsor kids.

I was at Chadestone, getting some baskets for work, when this random African guy came up to me, grabbed me by the arm, and said: "If you sponsor a child, will you feel good? Yes! You will feel good!"

Well, who's going to argue with that?

I now have a girl called Judy from Malawi through Plan.

Poor Joash. He's my only boy.

Next time I'm accosted by people in a shopping centre I'll ask for a boy. Because who can argue with feeling good?

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

How to Pick Up Jane...

Michelle and I are in charge of the bookstall. This makes for occasional odd conversations, because Michelle is slightly odd, and I'm... well... mad (this is Sam-Is-Mad, after all).

So we were standing there, not really selling books, when Michelle brought out her favourite book and forbade me to sell it. Because the author (who appeared on the cover) was so hot.

I looked at her as though she was mad. Because that author was not hot.

"Besides Michelle, isn't that a wedding ring on his finger?"


She flipped open the book and noticed it's dedication: to Anna.

"Who is this Anna?" she asked indignantly.

"I'm guessing it's his wife," I said.

"But he's so good looking," complained Michelle.

Jane, who was browsing the books, consoled Michelle. "It's alright. The boys I think are cutest are married."

"Jane!" I said. I was shocked. I mean, Michelle and I are not leaders at church. I mean, I'm not even JG. Jane is a leader (I think).

"Who?" Michelle wanted to know.

"Steven Curtis Chapman and Jim Eliott," she said.

"Jim Eliott is not only married, he's dead. And he wasn't even that good looking when he was alive."

"He was definitely the best looking out of the Ecuadorian martyrs. The others just weren't that good looking. So I like him best."

Oddly enough, that entirely made sense to me.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Celtic Festival

As most of you are aware, every year I go the the Portarlington Celtic festival. My dad lives down there, so it's easy for me to go and stay for the whole long weekend.

It was tons of fun!

No photos, because my camera battery died. Incidentally, if anyone can charge batteries for an Olypus camera, I would love to borrow your charger! Mine got taken by the thieves.

There were tons of great bands and performers, lots of food (I could even eat! GF/CF alternatives are great!) and plenty of items for sale on all things Celtic and lots of other random things.

I bought 7 CDs, mostly of harpist, and am planning to go see Claymore live at Spenser St on the 23rd of July. Think of the band as a Celtic rock band with Billy Connerly as the lead singer, and Alan Rickman as lead guitarist, along with a digeridoo and other instruments.

Someone threw haggis-flavoured instant noodles at a crowd. I am amazed that anyone would want one. They also had haggis bugers for sale. Gross.

However, the quote of the festival has to go to my brother, JW: "Bagpipes are evil. I mean, any instrument that gets played by your armpit must be destroyed."