Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Quote of the Day

At my staff meeting appraisal, we were talking about how there will now be a staff pack because some staff (and lots of relievers) are dressing inappropriately.

My statement:

Modesty: I'm got it covered.

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

I Think His Definition of Safe Is Different Than Mine

After church a few weeks ago, Keith took Kal and I to see The Immortals. It was ok. I mean, sure, the acting was pretty bad, and the main point of it was the graphics, but it was fun.

Anyways, in the car ride there, Keith just gets out his electric shaver and starts shaving. WHILE DRIVING.

"I need to multi-task more," he told us.

"By SHAVING in the CAR?"

"Well, I used to talk on the phone, but I need something safer."

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Funnies From Africa

My Top class were learning the 12 days of Christmas for their concert. Several of them didn’t quite understand the lyrics, and were quite convinced that it was 10 lords a SLEEPING.

When I told Abby that I was going to eat her up, she told me very seriously, “You can’t eat people. You can’t eat the skin. So you have to pull the skin off and THEN you can eat people.”

Amaya retold the story of Bluebeard from a personal perspective: “If your friend is evil, and he kills all your best friends, and you grow up and marry him, he will kill you.”

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Support Bushikori Over Christmas

If you are looking for Christmas cards that support the spread of the gospel and helping those in difficult circumstances (especially widows and orphans) then look no further! Bushikori Christian Centre in Uganda are selling Christmas cards.

Card 4

Card 2

To see the full range, visit this page of the Bushikori website.

If you want to order some, either leave a comment, email Sam, or speak to her. Alternatively you can order directly from Bushikori (details on the website). For those who want more information on Bushikori, the work it does, or how to further support Bushikori, again, get in contact with Sam.

Monday, 21 November 2011

A Published Zoologist Speaks

Kal and I were talking about unicorns, with Kal saying that everyone was going to say that she was a unicorn and that all the unicorns died out in Noah’s flood.

“Na-ha,” I said. “The Bible says that all the animals got on the ark. Two of each kind, one boy, one girl.”

“Yeah, and then they turned into whales.”

“Um, not that I believe in it, but I don’t think that’s how evolution works.”

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Here's one for when I'm away!

Was talking with Shaun between prayer and service, and I mentioned that they all are permanently damagin my blog with their PHDs. I then mentioned that I'm going ot have way more degree than any of them - I have 2 already, and next year I'm going to do a dip ed in early childhood. When it comes to degrees, I'm going for quantity.

So I told him I was going to have like a million degrees and he'd still be doing his PHD.

"No way," he said. "You could only get a million degrees if you went to the sun."

Miss me yet?

Saturday, 5 November 2011


I have GONE... to Uganda!

I am back on the 27th...

Please pray for me at this time.

Psalm 67
For the director of music. With stringed instruments. A psalm. A song.
1 May God be gracious to us and bless us
and make his face shine on us—[b]
2 so that your ways may be known on earth,
your salvation among all nations.

3 May the peoples praise you, God;
may all the peoples praise you.
4 May the nations be glad and sing for joy,
for you rule the peoples with equity
and guide the nations of the earth.
5 May the peoples praise you, God;
may all the peoples praise you.

6 The land yields its harvest;
God, our God, blesses us.
7 May God bless us still,
so that all the ends of the earth will fear him.

Sunday, 30 October 2011

On the Way to Church

Kallie has started going to church early for intercessory prayer. So she leaves the house around seven and goes to Auntie Pansy's house, who then drives her.

Today, on the way, Kal came across a possum roadkill. And she noticed that there was a "fluff ball" waiting next to it. The fluffball then ran over to Kallie, then back to the roadkill.

The fluff-ball was a little baby possum.

So Kallie caught it with her jacket and brought it home. She then phoned the wildlife people, and they told us to take it to the vet and they would pick it up from there.

So we did.

Then we went to church.

We were still there before pre-service prayer started, which I thought was a pretty good effort.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Permanent Blog Damage

This year has been kind of light blogging-wise on Sam-Is-Mad. My other blog has been posting more and more frequently (I'm now scheduling posts daily, and am currently 1 month in advance, which is on purpose, because I'm going away.) I'm even managing to post more often on the NOW FULLY APPROVED missions blog. But S-I-M... not so much.

Most of this is simple. My friends are all getting older. And certain people are bigger contributers to the insanity that is S-I-M than others. (Joab immediately comes to mind here.) But the problem is this... most of my main funny people are doing the dreaded PHD.

It's not enough for them that they are getting Permanent Head Damage, they are making blogging funny stuff so much harder. Joab, Shaun, Kallie, you all make me sad. Except Kallie. She's still funny. But most of her funny is in-jokes or inappropriate for general reading.

Please, please finish your PHDs soon. I need to get over this blog damage. It makes me sad.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Not A Great Day

I've included the first names of most people here, with the exception of those who come off badly and those in direct authority. In one case, they are the same person. Everyone mentioned by name and the manager of the centre was brilliant in all stages of this event.

It's been rather stressful recently at work. My team-leader continues to be a nasty person, the issues with the now-quit (thankfully) breaks cover were imaginabily bigger than I thought (and I thought he was a crazy b*st*rd), and we have been given a whole lot of new children all at once.

So I sent in a letter requesting a room change. I am not working with my crazy, b*tch of a room leader for a minute more than I have to.

To give you an idea of what she's like, I'll tell you about our beautiful day today.

Nicholas came in for lunch, very quiet and withdrawn. He had a few mouthfuls, then went back onto the verranda. He became clingy and cried silently. Katherine brought him inside and checked his temp. Normal.

Erin came through at this time, and also noticed that Nick was not himself. She has dealt with Nicholas having alergic reactions before, so she got him to stick out his tongue. Swollen. We start giving Nick fluids (because his parents insist each time that he's not having an allergic reaction, he's just dehydrated, so they give him water and panadol).

The team leader (TL from now on) decides that this is a great time to order me to leave Erin with Nick (even though he's having an alergic reaction) and HELP HER WITH THE CLEANING.

Instead, I phone all three of the numbers I have for his parents, and can't get through on any of them. Each phone call leads to a worse statement of Nick's stats. By the end of the third, he's having trouble breathing, so Nicole goes to get his epi-pen. I phone our manager to phone for an ambulance. Erin holds Nick, Nicole tries to administer the epi-pen, but can't because her hands are too sweaty and shaky. I give him his epi-pen. It takes until the count of 5 before he can breat well enough to cry. The manager has come in by then, and she and Erin take Nick to the office while Nicole goes out to flag down the ambulance.

And my TL? She keeps on cleaning.

Katherine and I run about, helping get the other children into bed (a reliever was outside with the rest of the children, except those in bed), and getting together all of Nick's belongings. TL keeps on cleaning. Except to ask Katherine if she can stop getting Nick's things, and can instead help with the cleaning.

Katherine ignored her.

Shortly later (just before the ambo's arrived), TL wanted Nicole (who was outside to FLAG THEM DOWN SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO SEARCH FOR THE PLACE) to come back inside, so we can "get back on schedule". "It's not like he'll be by himself," she said. I told her I didn't think so.

Nick's mum arrived, and she went with him in the ambulance. TL then went off for 40 minutes to cry about it, while everyone who actually did anything, held the room together at least until it was their lunchtime.

I have honestly never been so ANGRY at anyone in my life!

Priorities! Nick could have DIED! And she was more concerned about sweeping rice off the floor. I am absolutely disgusted.

Nick is fine, btw. Nicole is the most shaken by the experience. I am too angry to be shaken. I have my meeting with the manager about my request to change rooms tomorrow, and believe me, this is going to be mentioned.

Monday, 10 October 2011

Wednesday, 28 September 2011

Reader Poll

So, what do you think I look like?

Fill in the poll (above and to the right) with your answer! And feel free to leave a comment!

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

Stephen the Giant Killer

Stephen was over, and there was a fly in the house. (No, Stephen was not the fly.)

The fly flew out of Kallie's cupboard, where it had been hiding, and settled on the floor by my room. Kallie shreiked to Stephen to kill the fly. So he stomped on it.

With his BARE FEET.


For some strange reason he didn't understand why we weren't impressed.

Kallie made him wash his feet, and sprayed them with disinfectant.

Stephen spent the next 20 minutes soliliquising about his feat of amazing daring.


Friday, 9 September 2011

Put On Your Happy Face

So last Wednesday I went home early feeling sick. I made it through lunch with the kids (the chaos time) and then left.

At lunch, Flick looked at me and said, "Sam, SAAHM, where is your happy face SAAHM?"

I told her my happy face needed panadol.

(Not strictly true, all my faces are non-responsive to panadol except my fever face. My happy face needed Nurofen).

So I went home, took Nurofen, went to bed, got up, and realised I only had 2 nurofens left.

So I took them, and headed out to buy more.

On the way I saw... Haison, who works nearby. I waved, because in my doped up state I thought, "Oh, random Asian I think I know. Must be from church." Two steps on, I realised that that was HAISON.

Thank goodness my happy face had plenty of nurofen, because otherwise, it might have been my angry, punching face he would have seen.

On the bright side, he didn't recognise me. After all, he hasn't seen me since before I got glasses, let alone a head-covering.

And that, my friends, is a good reason to have a Happy Face.

Saturday, 3 September 2011

Mistaken for a Jew

I’ve recently been convicted about wearing head coverings. Mine don’t completely cover the head, and Kallie found it hilarious that my first religious head coverings come from the store “Diva”, which is not exactly known for its modest accessories.

Anyways, I’ve been wearing them pretty much all the time, and had been for 3 days when on Friday evening I went done to Trampoline for some delicious ice-cream (they make dairy free stuff too).

The girl who served me has seen me there several times, but today she was extra friendly, and at the end said that she hoped I had a great dinner with my family.

I said I had ice-cream now, so of course I would.

I was not having dinner with my family, and I wondered why she would say that. I got halfway down the street when I realised… she thought I was a Jew wearing a head-covering because I was having a Sabbath meal! (My area has a very large Jewish population. So much so that when parents ask me where I live, their next question is, “Are you Jewish? I didn’t realise.”)

I thought it was hilarious.

Wednesday, 31 August 2011

Not Exactly, Meggie

I was changing a display on our walls, and a few of the kids asked me what I was doing. My standard response whenever they ask me what I’m doing is: “What do you think I’m doing?” because they usually know, they just want to make conversation, and it gets them using their expressive language.
So when Meggie looked at me and said “What are you doing?” I said, “What do you think I’m doing?”

She thought about it for a second, and said, “You’re up there so we can’t reach you.”
I nearly fell off my ladder for laughing. Guess she would have reached me then!

Sunday, 28 August 2011

Puritans and Philistines

On the way to prayer I spent some time reading a book on the puritans. They’re interesting, and underrated (even if difficult reads) .

So I got there and people wanted to know what I was reading. I would just flash them the cover, then go back to the book.

Shaun looked at it and asked, “Who are the puritans?”

I explained that they were the English Reformers who strove for greater purity within the church and their personal lives, and sought to bring all aspects of living under the command of Scripture.

I also said that if someone calls you a puritan now days, they probably don’t mean it as a compliment. They mean that you’re a killjoy.

“So they’re different from the Philistines then?”

Thursday, 25 August 2011

New Lego Play-Set - UK Edition

Matches and petrol sold separately, Facebook and Twitter accounts not included.

Thanks Step for emailing them to me.

Monday, 22 August 2011

Thanks Keith

Because of the KFC Father's Day item, I come into the main service late, so I get to hang out at the back of the church. Just like school, the back of the hall is where all the dodgies hang out. I fit right in.

When communion came round, Keith (head of all dodginess) said that we should go forward and make sure they didn't miss us. I think he's been missed before. I, on the other hand, have been at the back for a few weeks and have not been missed once. I guess the communion servers realise that I need all the help I can get.

Besides, I'm allergic to half of the communion, and I told Keith so.

"Yeah, I bet it's not the cup. You'd never be giving that up."

Monday, 15 August 2011

At Least I'm Still A Mammal

After corporate prayer, I was chatting to Y-Kong. In the conversation, I mentioned that I was a moody cow.


Kal and I then explained to him that this is a general insult for moody people, particularly moody females.

He looked at me and said, "Well, I got the moody bit. But not the cow bit. I mean, you look much more like a rabbit."

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Zoe and her Music

One of the most important things that I do is that I refuse to play kids music at work. The Toddler room is a Wiggles-free zone. We play real music to the kids. And they start developing preferences pretty soon.

So when I came in I went to put on some music. I asked Zoe wha she wanted. "Gee."

"Beatles or Fleetwood Mac?"

"Or Gee."

"We could have the Everley Brothers."

"Or Gee for Kids."

"The Beatles are really cool."

"Gee for Kids."

"Fine, we'll put on Glee."

Next week, I gave her the choice of Beatles or Fleetwood Mac again. "Gee?"

"No Glee today. I don't feel like Glee."

Zoe thought about it, then made her choice. "Beatles." So they went on.

As she usually does, Zoe stood in the home-corner where the CD player was and listened for a moment. Then she looked at me and sighed, "It's wonderful."

Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Car! Car!

I came into work today, and was, as usual, greeted by several of the children, including Thalia. The rest soon went back to their activities, but Thalia didn't. She looked at me and said, "Car, car!"

"Honey, you know I catch the bus."

"Car! Car!"

Then she grabbed my legs, and started lifting up my skirt.

Now, the good thing about childcare is it's pretty much all females as far as the adults go. And I wear stockings AND leggings under my skirt. But it's still disconcerting to have your skirt lifted by a two year old. So I told her to quit it.

"Car, car!" Thalia insisted.

"No, that is my skirt, not a car, and you don't lift up a girl's skirt. It's bad manners."

I walked away from her, putting away some of the things I had brought in from home. And I felt something banging at the back of my thighs. I twisted around, and saw this flash of red metal.

One of them had attached a toy car to my skirt!

I cut it off and gave it to Thalia, appologising, who promptly took the car. It was what she wanted anyway.

Well, it was an interesting start to the morning.

Friday, 29 July 2011

That Explains It

The children often tell me where their parents are. "My daddy's at work," is obviously the most common one. But sometimes we get some surprises...

Thalia looked at me and told me that her daddy was at work.

"Oh, and where's your mummy?" I asked.

"She's shopping."

Jude then told me that his daddy was at work, "making money". Thalia said, "My daddy's got money."

"Oh, who else has got money in your family."

"Me. And my doggy."

"What about your mummy?" I asked.

"No," said Thalia, like I was some kind of crazy. "My mummy goes shopping."

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Another 9, and I'll have my 20...

Most people know that I want 20 children. Yes, I accept I'm mad, but I do. I don't expect for all of these kids to be bio kids - I always wanted to adopt, from before I was 10.

But I recently aquired another sponsor kids.

I was at Chadestone, getting some baskets for work, when this random African guy came up to me, grabbed me by the arm, and said: "If you sponsor a child, will you feel good? Yes! You will feel good!"

Well, who's going to argue with that?

I now have a girl called Judy from Malawi through Plan.

Poor Joash. He's my only boy.

Next time I'm accosted by people in a shopping centre I'll ask for a boy. Because who can argue with feeling good?

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

How to Pick Up Jane...

Michelle and I are in charge of the bookstall. This makes for occasional odd conversations, because Michelle is slightly odd, and I'm... well... mad (this is Sam-Is-Mad, after all).

So we were standing there, not really selling books, when Michelle brought out her favourite book and forbade me to sell it. Because the author (who appeared on the cover) was so hot.

I looked at her as though she was mad. Because that author was not hot.

"Besides Michelle, isn't that a wedding ring on his finger?"


She flipped open the book and noticed it's dedication: to Anna.

"Who is this Anna?" she asked indignantly.

"I'm guessing it's his wife," I said.

"But he's so good looking," complained Michelle.

Jane, who was browsing the books, consoled Michelle. "It's alright. The boys I think are cutest are married."

"Jane!" I said. I was shocked. I mean, Michelle and I are not leaders at church. I mean, I'm not even JG. Jane is a leader (I think).

"Who?" Michelle wanted to know.

"Steven Curtis Chapman and Jim Eliott," she said.

"Jim Eliott is not only married, he's dead. And he wasn't even that good looking when he was alive."

"He was definitely the best looking out of the Ecuadorian martyrs. The others just weren't that good looking. So I like him best."

Oddly enough, that entirely made sense to me.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Celtic Festival

As most of you are aware, every year I go the the Portarlington Celtic festival. My dad lives down there, so it's easy for me to go and stay for the whole long weekend.

It was tons of fun!

No photos, because my camera battery died. Incidentally, if anyone can charge batteries for an Olypus camera, I would love to borrow your charger! Mine got taken by the thieves.

There were tons of great bands and performers, lots of food (I could even eat! GF/CF alternatives are great!) and plenty of items for sale on all things Celtic and lots of other random things.

I bought 7 CDs, mostly of harpist, and am planning to go see Claymore live at Spenser St on the 23rd of July. Think of the band as a Celtic rock band with Billy Connerly as the lead singer, and Alan Rickman as lead guitarist, along with a digeridoo and other instruments.

Someone threw haggis-flavoured instant noodles at a crowd. I am amazed that anyone would want one. They also had haggis bugers for sale. Gross.

However, the quote of the festival has to go to my brother, JW: "Bagpipes are evil. I mean, any instrument that gets played by your armpit must be destroyed."

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Sketchbook Project!

One of my sketchbook projects is available online! Check it out!

In Flight

I'm such an awesome artist!

Monday, 6 June 2011

I Gave That Up Years Ago

I was busy trying to give away books when Shaun came up to me, very apologetic. "I forgot about your birthday!"

It's all right, he's not the only one. Though so far he is the only one to apologise for it.

I got him a present at his birthday, and when I was trying to find out what he wanted, his response was "the same thing every 25 year old male wants".

Turns out, they want comic books.

So I responded to his question about what I wanted with "the same thing every 27 year old female wants."

His response...


Friday, 3 June 2011

Why, Yes, He Does!

Jude got to go home sick. What he had was very contagious, so we were keeping him away from the other kids, on the verranda. As a treat he was looking through my photo frame. (The photos do change on a semi-regular basis, just so as you know.) Georgie was tidying the next verranda, and laughing at Jude (because he's so funny and awesome.)

"Hey look! It's Hope!" he said excitedly.

"Yep, that's my church's logo. Hope church."

Jude flicked to the next picture. "Look, it's Ps Ian!"

"You're right, that is Ps Ian."

"He's SINGING," said Jude in awe.

"He's preaching I think."

"Oh, preaching."

"Look Georgie, it's Ps Ian!"

"Wow, Ps Ian," echoed Georgie.

Jude smiled at her, and let her know one essential Ps Ian fact. "He's got HAIR."

Saturday, 28 May 2011


Shaun gave Kal, me, and Charlie (who lives kinda near us) a lift back from prayer on Tuesday. I couldn't believe that he hadn't heard pretty much all of the songs on my CD - the boy lived in Scotland!

Which led to the Portarlington Celtic Festival coming up.

Which led to Haggis.

Which is disgusting.

Shaun tried to convince me (a vegetarian!) to bring him back some haggis.

I told him he was welcome to come up and use my mum's ticket (because she probably won't actually go), but I AM NOT BRINGING HAGGIS BACK IN MY LUGGAGE.

Haggis. Disgusting!

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Random Funnies From the Life of Sam

Michelle clearly hasn't been around modern toys
I was going with Michelle to Koorong for the church bookstall. I get to go because I buy over half the books we sell. Anyways, a song about money came on. Michelle said that she wouldn't mind having some more money.

"Me either. Then I could buy an orphan."

"You can't just buy orphans Sam."

"Why not?"

"They are not toys."

Me pretending to be confused: "But... aren't all people toys?"

"No. Some people are annoying.

Finally, there is someone at church buffer than me
I was helping with the pack up after church, and carried one of the tables to the trailer. Then Dhany told me that I shouldn't be carrying things like that because they are too heavy. I told him it wasn't that heavy, I can carry lots because I am white and white people have more muscles than Asians. I then gestured to all of the boys who were helping pack up - pretty much proving my point.

Dhany then said, "You know what we could do? We could get two Asian guys to carry something. And then we could get Leon to carry them."

Well, both those people groups are in Africa...I was upstairs in the staffroom at work, when Georgie asked me what my CD was, and was for. I told her all about it. (They are now selling for $10.)

She looked at me and said, "You should become a mercanary."

I laughed. What can I say. Us white people are scary, what with our big muscles and all.

"Oh wait," she said. "I meant a missionary. They're different."

Monday, 4 April 2011

Probably Too Much Information...

My hair needs washing every 5 days at the moment. I'm trying to get it to stretch because washing my hair (especially now that it is getting longer again) over winter is more than a pain - it's a health hazard. Result, every few weeks I let it go an extra day or so without washing. When it gets used to that, I then go an extra day.

So when Sunday morning rocked around, my hair slightly needed to be washed.

Normally I wear my hair out on a Sunday, but I wasn't having that! So I put it in two pig-tails and then made them into buns with scrunchies. Kallie said that I looked "Like a cute anime girl".

Christina commented that she liked my hair, and was wondering how I did it. I told her, but then added that it kept on coming out.

"Is that because you aren't pulling the scrunchies tight enough?"

"No, it's because I didn't was my hair recently enough."

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Declare War On France For The Antartic

A while ago, I was watching Shakleton, and Stephen came over half-way through. This lead to an intense discussion from Kal and I about different Antartic explorers, and how clearly Shakleton is better than Scott because HE DIDN'T DIE ON EXPEDITION. Which is generally a mark of a good explorer.

Stephen had no idea. He may even think there are polar bears in the Antartic.

This mean that we needed to get out the map of Antartica. And look at it! Australia owns most of it. As it should be.

But look at all the other countries with parts of it. I mean, I can understand England having a chunk - I'm part English. And so was Shakleton (and Scott). Even Norway. I mean, Admundsen WAS the first to the pole.

But France?!

And look - their piece breaks my piece in half.

I want Antartica. I suggest that we declare war on France for it. It's not like they're good fighters - we'll win easily. And then I will be able to rest calmly in the knowledge that Australia has the biggest bit of Antartica, and that our bit isn't broken up by a nation that eats snails.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

I'm not exactly sure that's right...

We were outside, and Kleio had taken off one of her shoes. "You can't go around with one shoe off and one shoe on Kleio. That's CRAZY!" I said.

"Crazy boy!" Kleio said happily.

"No, Kelio, you're a girl, so you're a crazy girl." I told her. "I'm a girl too, so I'm a crazy girl. What do you think Paris is?"

"Crazy girl?"

"No, Paris is a boy, so he's a crazy boy."

With that, Jude felt the need to add his ever-hilarious two-cents. "Dad's a boy," he told me in a confiding tone.

"My Dad's a boy too. What's your Mummy?"

Jude thought about it for a second, and said, "Mummy's a pirate."

Monday, 21 March 2011

Breaking into C-Block

It's amazing what I get up to on a Sunday. After church, we have sometimes have Christian Development School, or CDS. Because I'm not a big fan of socialising, I was one of the earlier people to get over to the C-Block. And when I was there, I found Uncle Paul and Joab waiting (not particularly patiently) while Chiew was getting the key.

Now, in case you didn't know this, Joab is extremely bad at waiting.

So he was trying to climb in the window. He was also failing miserably. I decided to have a go. After all, other than being sick, climbing through windows I wasn't supposed to was what I did in primary school. Sometimes I even had to climb up drainpipes to do it. But I was wearing a skirt, and couldn't quite do it.

Joab, by this time, absolutely can't stand it. So he goes to his car and gets an umbrella and trys to hook a chair and bring it through the gap in the window. Uncle Paul and I are both laughing at this, because there is NO WAY a chair was going to fit through that gap.

Joab eventually gives up on that idea, and looks at the chain holding the window at the right degree of open-ness. "If I had a screw-driver, I could unhook it, then we could lift out the chair, and Sam would be able to get through the window and let us in."

"Yes, but that really would be breaking and entering, and not just climbing through a window," said Uncle Paul.

After a few moments of watching Joab dance around because he's really impatient, I decide to put him out of his misery. No, I didn't shoot him. I rolled a boulder over to the window and used that to climb in.

What can I say? My years in primary school were well spent, and I think I actually have more patience than a leader in our church, even if that leader is Joab.

Saturday, 19 March 2011

Gold Digger

Obviously, at work I am in charge of the CD player. That means, no kids music. Because I believe that the Bible would declare that virtually all kids music is clearly inspired by the evil one.

Which means we listen to awesome stuff. Like "glee".

So this is what I had the kids dancing to.

What's funny is that some of the kids were doing full on booty dancing, or up against a wall dancing, or other inappropriate things. I'd do a demo, but, really, it was inappropriate. Which meant that every single one of us staff members was in absolute STITCHES.

I love glee.

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Police Get Jude

I've written about Jude before, and he is the most hilarious child. I was playing with him, when the burgular alarm next door went off.

"Siren!" He said.

"Yep," I confirmed.

"Police! Police coming! Police coming get Jude!" (He seemed more excited that upset at this thought.)

"Why are the police coming to get you Jude?" I asked.

"Jude SPEEDING. Mummy, Daddy's car. Speeding! Vrooom!" And with that he sped away.

And then, the next week, Jude came in with a massive scab over his nose. "How'd you get that Jude?"


Tuesday, 15 March 2011

I Want One

Everyone at church wants a baby next year. Normally I'd be all for this - I mean, babies! But their motivation leaves a little to be desired.

You see, they want to have "dragon babies".

That's right. Everyone in my church wants to time their babies by Chinese star signs.

It's kind of ridiculous. I mean, you don't catch Kal and I planning which month we're going to have our babies in so that they fit Western star signs. Because they are a load of nonsense, and pagan nonsense at that. Chinese star signs are also a load of nonsense, and pagan nonsenese at that. They just last a whole year.

Anyways, everyone wants a dragon baby. Apparently they are "auspicious".

Also, apparently they are hard to get into schools.

Kallie asked Freedy why they were hard to get into schools, and he told her it was because they were "auspicious".

Still trying to figure that one out.

But really, I just want a dragon baby of my own. Kallie said that's because I just want a baby, and I'd be happy to have a dung beetle baby if that was the one on offer next year.

A dung-beetle baby sounds cute.

But a DRAGON baby - well, that's auspicious.

Now, to get the boy I like to want an auspicious dragon baby with me.

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Lack of Blogging

Sorry bout that guys. But I'm back on gluten for testing and I feel really ill. I don't think I look great either, even if I've been told otherwise.

So basically, I've bitten off all my nails, scratched my arm til it bled (just once), and have had lots of fun times with my stomache. My test is tomorrow.

Please pray.

Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Everyone Makes A Christmas CD

Proof in point - Art Garfunkel. Seriously. I mean, the guy is Jewish, and I don't think that religious. But he has a Christmas album The Animals Christmas.

It's actually ok, and what's more, my kinder teacher from when I was a kinder kid clearly loves Artie too, because one of the songs written for the album (which would have been 2 years before I started kinder) have been sung at EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS CONCERT at my kinder since FOREVER. At least since I went there.

There's probably even a video of me as a dove singing about how I cooed baby Jesus to sleep. I was given that part because I was always climbing things, and the doves had to be up "high". (The other year I was an angel - the lead one I think.)

So, as everyone makes a Christmas CD, I will too at some point. As in, probably around June. It just seems appropriate.

No dove songs though.

Monday, 14 February 2011


For those of you who don't know, I used to sing. I was ok, but I improved when I got to 19 years old. My voice just matured. Of course, by then I was no longer in any choirs or anything.

Anyways, I sponsor a few children through Bushikori. And in May they are having a fundraiser night. I thought about what I could give, and eventually came up with the idea of making a CD.

So last Saturday I recorded 12 songs at Adam's place.

When I say 12 songs, I mean more than 50 tracks over 7 hours. Yes, my throat was sore afterwards.

Adam is now editing it so I sound better.

I listened back and I actually don't sound too bad. Although I strongly suspect Dannny Boy is going to be terrible. Anyone have any ideas on traditional songs that I could sing to replace it?

Plan is to sell them at the night for $10 each, and to sell them either in person and or on my blogs for the same price (though the blogs would also cost postage). The centre would also be able to sell through their site.

To put it in perspective, if I sell 8 CDs, that sponsors a child through them for 3 months.

So, get ready to buy some CDs of me singing!

PS - On a completely unrelated note - Hi Amy! We miss you! And actually, going GF is easier than I thought!

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Hey Jude

We have a new kid called Jude, and he's pretty cool. He talks non-stop, which is nice because most of our children are still non-talkers. Anyways, he's massively in love with our little Chinese girl, Ky-An.

We were putting him to sleep, and he kept on pointing to Ky-An and saying, "Hair! Black hair! Big black hair!" (Ky-An has a bit of a mohawk thing happening). Then he started trying to grab it. We were definitely not allowing that - Ky-An was asleep!

"Well, at least we know what kind of girl you're going to be marrying," I said.

Jude pointed to Ky-An "Her!"

The next day, Jude and Ky-An are lying on their beds and Jude goes over and starts hugging Ky-An. He's a bit bigger than her, and she started looking a bit concerned, because he's not the most gentle child.

"Hey Jude," I say (because I say this at every opportunity). "We know you love Ky-An, but it's time for you to be on your bed and Ky-An to be on hers and for you both to be going to sleep."

"She's hot!" Jude said, and went back to his bed.

Friday, 28 January 2011

What I've Been Doing While Not Blogging

Sewing all these badges on my brother's Scout blanket.

Must tend to my bleeding fingers now.

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Too Funny Not To Post

Right on so many levels.
From Mallard Fillmore

Gluten Free

As I mentioned in a previous post, I've been gluten free this month, and a week into the month my dr said that I was probably coeliac. I can honestly say that I am not eating gluten any time soon, if ever. Here are the effects I've noticed:

- My stress release behaviours have pretty much all gone. Scratching was my most concerning one, and I know it isn't life threatening or anything, but it wasn't pleasant. It's also the only one I wasn't able to explain away to myself or other people. But all of my behaviours have disappeared or been drastically lowered since giving up gluten. And what's more, the day after going out to have coffee with a friend I had a mild recurrance of some symptoms after a stomach upset. So it's clearly a trigger if nothing else. This alone would make me never want to eat gluten again. But there's more!

- Less stomach issues. I've always had a lot of stomach issues. They decreased when I came off casein, and decreased again after coming off gluten. Yay!

- My nails have been growing. This isn't purely a stress releasing behaviour, so I'm not listing it here, though it is related. I bit my nails pretty much constantly, regularly until they bled. I've stopped without effort or trickery once before in my life... when I started taking iron supplements. It lasted until I next lost a lot of iron. This time round, I lost some iron and my nails kept growing.

- The most recent improvement is in the area of my mind. I've been foggy-headed, significantly less creative, and miles less energetic for YEARS. I mean, back in high school I spent 2 hours every day doing fictional creative writing, several hours a week singing, and had two dance classes a week. I also did aerobics every day. I had energy, was creative, and was productive. And even though I got sick a lot, it was great. It kept up through the first two years of uni, and then my mind died the third and fourth year. No more writing, no dance classes, little singing in general. And while I tried to get myself to do these things, I never suceeded in the long run - I didn't have the mental energy. However, at the moment I'm planning a CD project, thinking about a novel I've been wanting to write for ages, considering going back to uni, and last night started writing really bad poetry again. Huzzah! Soon I'll actually be my creative crazy self again... and I'll be able to appreciate it!

So, gluten free is the way I'm going to be, pretty much for life! Yay for GFCF! (gluten-free, casein-free)

So if you think you may be reacting to a food, then GIVE IT UP FOR A MONTH and see how you feel. It's easier than drs tests and appointments, and if you are reacting, believe me, you'll notice the difference!

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

I Needs To Know!

I finally have internets! Yay! After about a million set-backs and sad, sad days with no ability to stalk people I know and don't know, I finally can do all this and more! Hooray!

And just in time, because I NEED TO KNOW SOMETHING.

I googled it, and wiki-ed it, and asked Kallie and even phoned up Adam, thinking that he might know the answer.

Is it a Jewish thing to call your wife your bride even when you've been married for ages?

See, in his sermons, Doug Phillips always calls his wife his bride. And I always was like, Aw, how sweet.

But then I was watching a new Garfunkel DVD, and HE DOES THE SAME THING.

Now, Art Garfunkel and Doug Phillips don't exactly have that much in common. Only two things I can think of. They're American. And they're both of Jewish descent. So I want to know if it is a Jewish thing, an American thing that only some odd Americans do, or an American Jewish thing, or something else entirely.

Any ideas? Anyone?


Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Internet Blues

As several of you are aware, at home, Kal and I are net-less. It makes us both very sad. Stephen said he was going to be arranging said internet (Kal and I only have pre-paid mobiles, and can't use phones at work most of the time) but, what can I say? The boy is a slacker.

Though not all that much interesting has been happening. Which is probably a good thing. I don't know how much interesting I can handle at the moment.

So I thought I'd let you guys all know about all the different things I would be doing on the internet if I had it at home.

- Stalking Art Garfunkel. That's what the internet is for really. Stalking people. Besides, what if he had a new CD coming out? I could be distraught and sad without it.

- Writing about serious, boring things for my other blog. Sure, it's less interesting than this blog, but I probably post there a bit more often, or at least I do WHEN I HAVE ACCESS TO THE INTERNET.

- Laughing at people I know who have very dorky blogs. This is one of Kal's favourite things to do on the internet.

- Doing the research I'm supposed to do for Ps Ian. Yeah, it isn't happening, and it might not even if I had the net. But it does give me a really awesome excuse for why it isn't. That, and collapsing.

- Watching dramas. You know that they're the best. Don't deny it. They fill an inherent need for melodrama in the life of everyone everywhere. This would be extra useful as I need to sew about a million badges on my brother's scout blanket.

- Going the the Suzi Blu La Petit Academy and looking at everyone's pictures. And uploading pictures of my own. And then getting inspiration from everyone's pictures.

- Googling completely random things, just because I have the internet and I can.

Internet, how I miss you.

Monday, 10 January 2011

Latest Medical News (and other bits and pieces)

The current theory as to my collapse is that my iron levels were/are very low. The thoughts as to why this is is that I'm coeliac, which I was suspecting (and I went gluten free as of the 1st of Jan).

This will need to be tested at some point in the future, but for the next two months I'm going to be gluten free. It's not too bad, because I know the tricks around food allergies and intolerances now. I'm getting less stomach pains (especially at night) and my stress relief behaviours (most notably stratching until my arms and legs bleed) are not happening at all. So, unlikely to be having gluten again ever, even if the test comes back inconclusive.

In order to bring my iron levels up, I get to have a blood transfusion. Yay! My third one ever. Of course, I was unconscious for the first two (when I was ten, and having cancer removed, and I sprung a leak), so it'll be an experience.

My mum, with major liver and kidney damage, proceeded to get smashed as soon as she came off her meds. Not the smartest thing in the world. She was amusing though, in a humilating and horrific way.

Extended family came over over the break. My cousing James looks just like JW, only with brown hair. And a bit skinnier. But otherwise, the same.

I've spent lots of time listening to Garfunkel. He is the best.

That's it for now.