Sunday, 31 August 2008

I May Be Fat, But the Kids Love Me

I got this card last weekend. I taught Daniella in my internship year - 2006.

Friday, 29 August 2008

The Photo

Joab was the only one that commented. But Dhany and Kevin both said I should post it. So in the interests of self humiliation...

Wednesday, 27 August 2008

Reader Poll:

Do you want to know what I'm going to look like after 20 kids?

Because I have a photo. I labelled it "Sam looks fat".

Kal has seen, and would like to confirm that I am in fact fat in this photo, it is not photoshopped.

Note to self: Never wear Rebecca's dressing gown again.

Saturday, 23 August 2008

Just in case you've missed this...

Dear Sam,

We are delighted to offer you a wonderful opportunity to feature in a pretentious artistic production. We could not help but notice that you are a pretty girl with great expression and a natural ability to command attention. These qualities make you suitable for our project, which will be a music video that visually explores a psalm using an irrelevant soundtrack and overkilled visual metaphors. We apologise for contacting you this way; we realise this comment is posted out of context but you do love comments (small consolation). We hope you seriously consider this offer. Please address your response and any questions to our staff located in The Bedroom With Wolf Posters on the Door, Your House, The Earth.

Yours sincerely,
Short Trash Productions Team <3

Sam-Is-Mad said...
Dear Short Trash Productions Team,

Thank you for noticing that I am pretty and command attention. Some people (ignorant people) would say that is because I am loud. Ignorant people.

I would love to appear in all music videos that are being made. A salary of large quanties of chocolate is necessary in order for me to consider working on your very worthwhile project.

Joab said...
.... you ARE loud...
ignorance is bliss, therefore I am blissful

Anonymous said...
Dear Samantha,

Thank you for accepting our offer. Filming will begin soon, however we cannot offer you an exact date as this is dependent on meteorological conditions. We shall keep you informed. While, as a non-profit organisation, we cannot offer you a salary, we wish to console you with that fact that we are giving you exposure and experience in the music video industry.

If you have any questions contact our staff, who are currently located in the Spooky-Cat-Filled-Living-Room, Your House, The Milky Way.

Yours once again,
The Short Trash Production Team.

Sam-Is-Mad said...
Careful Joab, you are now officially both mean AND ignorant

Sam-Is-Mad said...
Dear Short Trash Production Team,

Now that the space has been slightly de-catted, and planted, isn't it a million times better? Not perfect, I admit, but better, so much better.

As long as the song being played isn't the one I just made up for KFC...

"Be kind to everyone..."

Sam-Is-Mad said...
No chocky, no worky.

Anonymous said...
Dear Samantha,

While we cannot be bothered to repay your involvement with a salary of chocolate, we will concede to offering cheese pizza of the gourmet kind on the night of filming completion. As you consider this proposal, allow your mind to think of brie, camembert, blue, mozarella, chedda, swiss, cottage, feta, corby, tasty, and other delightful things of goodness.

An alternative to this would be to film you without your permission and when you do not expect it. While we recognise this unorthodox method is not ethical and will take longer to gather the footage we require, it would at least be free. Do not think we are above such things as stalking and exploitation.

And just incase your mind has wandered, let us reiterate an important point. Cheese pizza.

Yours dangerously,
The Short Trash Production Team.

PS- Be comforted to know we shan't use your song, but something more depressing and less educational.

Speaking of Work...

On Monday, i.e. my first day back at work, I cut up a dead fish.

The fish is indeed dead

I let the kids touch a fish that dies of unknown causes.

The fish is dead. Pointing to it makes this certain.

The knife goes in...

And slides down the middle...

Off with his head!


And then we held a funeral.
I am NOT weird.
The kids think I am the coolest.
The staff in the other rooms have a slightly different opinion.

Thursday, 21 August 2008

On Work and Doctors

The general consensus has been that I should go and see a doctor. In fact, every time Jean-Marc sees me he says, "Go and see a doctor." Before he says anything else. The truth is I've been on waiting lists for some time.

So I was actually pleased when I was told last night (at 11:30PM) that I could get an appointment for today.

Until this morning, when I phoned work, and they said NO.

I was actually quite upset. But I went to work all the same.

Then at 11, when Libby goes to lunch. We are supposed to get a reliever in now. Because otherwise Libby is going to quit. But today, we don't. Because the reliever decided that she wanted to take her daughter to the dentist.

And now I am ropable

Wednesday, 20 August 2008

On My Blog

I got an email from someone I mooched from. Here is it's contents:

"I read your blog very fun. When you get those lots of kids, you want,you might get that chronic fatique. I just call it motherhood syndrome."

Well, Steph doesn't have kids (yet, but I'm praying) and apparently people with CFS feel great while they-re pregnant. It's afterward that is the real downer.

Incidentally, her mooch name is 8izenuff.

Monday, 18 August 2008

What'd I Tell You Kal?

On Wed, not last week but the week before, I came home and ate a block of chocolate. In less than five minutes. The day was that bad. And I said to Kal that I wouldn't be surprised if someone quit next Wed, as the worst kid of the bunch was sick. (Arnold bites. He mostly bites kids who deserve it, but apparently we're supposed to stop such things.)

So, how did they find last Wed?

Libby told them if they didn't give us another staff member she was going to quit. And as she's new, she only has to give them 24 hours notice. And she can take that 24 hours as a sick day.

We now have someone covering our breaks.


I had a horrible dream last night. My CG is combining with half of another CG. I dreamt that they decided they had too many people, and so they were putting me in another CG. They decided to put me in the medical CG.

That would be awful. Sorry to Joc and Joab who are (I think) both in that CG, but if I had to sit down and hold conversations with lots of doctors and prospective doctors, I think I would die. I would start crying and/or my head would explode.

Urgh! Doctors.

Sunday, 17 August 2008

Free Books for All

I have about a million bookmooch points. I lie. At the moment I have 75.6 - however, as soon as I can go over to my mum's with someone with a car (probably Reb) I will be picking up some more boxes of books, many of which will be listed for mooching.

And so, all my devoted readers, the about 7 of you, feel free to browse and see what you want. If there are any books you want, email me their details (samismad @ hotmail . com) and let me know, and I'll try and mooch them for you. It isn't a guarentee, especially if they are from overseas. But you can have as many books as you want.

I do have to know you, so if you're stopping by my blog and don't know me, either sign up for bookmooch yourself (it's free) or come along to church and introduce yourself. If I know you, then just email me or pass the details at CG / Touching Heaven / Church / the ballet / etc. Even mean people can mooch.

Joab is Mean, Jonathon is Hopeless

So, at church today, I am happily eating the food everyone has brought. I have a slice of pizza, a doughnut, and TWO strawberries. Yummy, delicious strawberries. And as I'm walking about, comtemplating the deliciousness of strawberries, I hear this sound...


You know you're in trouble when you hear your last name. I looked up and smiled innocently, as if to say, "Who, me?"

"STRAWBERRIES!" Joab said.

I decided to make my exit. I dashed behind the crowds of students, then calmly exited, pleased that my strawberries, my delcious red strawberries, were safe. And then I was accousted by Cors.

"Is that a good idea?" And she TOOK my strawberries away. "No more!" she said.

I was sad. Having lost my strawberries, it was safe to go talk to Joab. "Corina took my strawberries," I said mournfully.

"I know, I told her to."

"But... my strawberries..."

"You are ALLERGIC."

"But... strawberries..."

He lacked sympathy. Mean boy. I went over to Reb to tell her all about it. Apparently she is going to congratulate both Joab and Cors when she next sees them. I've managed to get strawberries past Emily, Keith, Kien, and even her. Because they are not mean. Finding that Reb lacked sympathy, I went and told Jocelyn. She had sympathy. Until Joab joined the conversation and pointed out to her that I am allergic to strawberries. Mean.

Then I went back to the YPG table, and told Jonathon. He said, "Don't worry, have some tomatoes." As if you could compare TOMATOES with STRAWBERRIES.

Mean. Very mean Joab. :(

Saturday, 16 August 2008

Please Pray For Steph

Most of my readers haven't met Steph, though a few of you will have seen photos from my blog. She's one of my closest friends from high school. As several of you know, Steph has chronic fatigue. Recently, when travelling with her husband Tennessee and her family her legs gave way. She now needs a wheelchair to get to and from uni, and for many other aspects of her daily life. She can stand and walk for a short time, up to 15 minutes.

If you could all be praying that Steph would dance before the Lord. This prayer incorporates 3 aspects:
1. Healing of her legs and of chronic fatigue
2. Steph's salvation
3. Steph loves dancing! She hasn't been able to really do so since getting sick in (I think) 1999. (Sorry if I'm wrong on the year Steph, I'm horrible with dates).

Thank you all for your prayers!

Wednesday, 13 August 2008

What I Did... Aside From Sleep

I slept in today. And then I did pretty much nothing. I read a few chapters of Jeremiah, listened to two audio sermons, made chai ice-cream, made pear sorbet. Then I was tired, so I had a lie down.

I fell asleep around 2:30, and I only just woke up. So that's literally all I've managed to do today. I'm hoping to still do some more reading (and hopefully finish something) and I'm listening to a third audio sermon. I also need to memorise a few dances for Saturday, where I'm dancing for my Scots 60th Aniversary. As David (Ross's son David, not David who is getting married soon) is really keen to dance at least one dance with me, I really have to know at least a few. In most dances I'll be able to get other people to help me and point me in the right direction, but when I dance with David I'll have to do that. Ross is finding out which dance David wants to do with me so that I can really learn that dance.

I'll put up photos of the event for you all.

But today... nada. Lots of NADA.

To Do List

I think I've gone a little overboard...

- Read Jeremiah
- Make mixed berry ice-cream
- Pick up boxes from mum
- Sort boxes
- 3 Audio sermons
- Send a cheque
- Post bookmooch items
- Pay a bill
- Phone Australian Unity and set up direct debit
- Set up internet stuff
- Read Voices of the Faithful
- Clean kitchen
- Tidy bedroom
- Make grapefruit sorbet
- Make pear sorbet
- Make chai ice-cream
- Priscilla's learning story
- Read The Country Child
- Work paperwork
- Read The Last Week in December
- Read Alice Sit-By-the-Fire
- Memorise ps 144
- Harp practice
- Read The Normans

Given it's already 11:30, I think I'm not going to get all these things done...


I woke up tired. I'd only had 2 asthma attacks that I woke up for, and I think that I slept through one, which at the moment is really good. But I still woke up tired and sore.

I mucked about on the net for a while, finished Invitation to the Dance, then I walked down to Chadestone. I've walked that before, but that was when I was stressed and full of adrenalin. Walking it yesterday was quite tiring. I bought groceries, mostly for cooking stuff for CG, and then, because it was raining, caught the bus back.

I then set out to cook some choc-studded honey wafers. They were delicious. I only ate two after cooking. I packed some for Rebecca to take to the Frankston prayer meeting, and the rest for me to take to Waverley.

Of course, I forgot that a few people would be fasting dinner. But out of all my regular readers, only one person turned down the cookies, and only a few other people did too. So, reader who didn't eat cookies, if you were fasting, I'm very sorry for tempting you with delicious cookies. If you were not fasting, then I'm not sorry and you missed out. :P

I then got home, and started reading Anthem. It was really interesting. Very well written. I wasn't planning on finishing it, just on reading a few chapters. I did finish it. Then I wrote out my to-do list for today and went to bed.

Regarding today - I went on Bookmooch and found that another book had been mooched. I was surprised to see that it was an Australian mooch, because my points had jumped up quite a bit. So I looked over at my points records to see whether any of my requested books had been cancelled. They hadn't - I'd been given 4 'smooches' of points from someone who had earlier mooched a book from me. It was great, because the book was really heavy and cost a fair bit to post to the UK. I actually considered rejecting it (and another one to the US) because it was going to cost such a bit. But I decided that I was going to get 3 points, and that's three books from Australia, so it was worth it. And then I got the smooches! 7 points! 7 books from Australia, or 3 1/2 from overseas!

Yay! Let's spend bookmooch points!

Monday, 11 August 2008


Do you guys want some serious posts? I'm thinking about it, but I'm not sure. So what do you guys think?

Day Three

I didn't do much. I did some reading, but didn't finish any books. I listened to 3 audio sermons, and planned some cooking for Care Group etc. So I haven't actually done very much.

But here's the good things that happened:
My friend David came over to drop off his wedding invite. I haven't seen him for ages as we're both pretty busy, so it was good to see him, even for only ten minutes. And I got a package of books I ordered from Amazon. Which was lovely. So all in all it was a pretty good day. Even if I got nothing done.

Currently Reading:
- The Genesis Flood
- Invitation to the Dance (a history of the Australian Ballet School)
- A Country Child
- The Normans
- Voices of the Faithful

Day Two

was yesterday. And I spent about half of it crying. I lie. It was probably more than that. I got to church, and started crying. Cried through most of the service (hopefully no one thought I was touched by God, because I wasn't, I was just tired) but was still able to take notes. Which was good. Finished the service, continued crying. Went out for lunch, did more crying. Cried in Auntie Daisy's car, cried at home in between naps. You might be able to see a pattern to my day.

But I'd like to thank a few people. Joab and Shaun, you're both very funny, and were by far the most helpful people at cheering me up (Sean too, but he doesn't read my blog). Joc, thanks for not asking if I was okay. And Reb, thanks for generally taking care of me, because I know I'm a real grump.

That's about it. Thanks everyone!

Saturday, 9 August 2008


Today is day 1 of my nine days of non-work. I know I am supposed to be resting. I am, really I am. I slept in until midday. However, I also:

- Did a load of washing
- Read 2 books (one half done, the other from start to finish)
- Started another book (I expect to finish it)
- Listened to an audio sermon
- Read a few chapters of 2 non fiction books - one on Genesis, one on the Australian Ballet School.

What I hope to do in the 4 or so hours remaining:
- Another load of washing
- Some maths
- Finish the book I'm reading
- Listen to another audio sermon or two
- Read some more of my non-fic books, and continue reading a bit of another one, which is on the Normans. Did you know they conquered Spain, but that that conquest is usually undeplayed as it was an independent affair, while their conquest of England, which was done via monarch, was actually of lesser cultural significance. Interesting, though I don't know if the author was considering the perspective of the change in English religion from what was in many ways a pre-Protestant Protestantism, to Catholism. Because that really shaped lots, especially once the Reformation starts.
- Tidy my bedroom. I know, it's about the tidiest room in the house. But I don't think it is tidy. I try to stay out of Reb and Kal's rooms, they are VERY MESSY. And Reb still has boxes in the living room. Not in the kitchen since I sorted them (and our cupboards, which are things of beauty) on my last sick day.

That's about it for today's list. I like having days off!

Monday, 4 August 2008

Yay! I Sparked a Contraversy.

On Proverbs 18:22

snboy said...
In respond to Proverbs 18:22, I advise reading 1 Cor 7. Read at own risk, ye womyn who seek a husband.

Unless they can't control themselves, of course.

But Paul has every single boy in church in mind when he said v28.

And no attacking Paul. That's not counted.

I replied:
Um, I'd like to point out some basic things about the people whom Paul was writing to.

Verse 26 - "Because of the present crisis". In other words, if you're in danger of being a human torch to light up one of Nero's parties, then it probably isn't a good idea to get married. Because it'd probably suck if your wife and kids are up there, burning along side of you.

I don't know who snboy is. I'm going to assume that SN means from Singapore. And that boy means he's a boy. Which has narrowed it down to about half the boys in the church. Plus anyone else who just happened to stop by my blog.