Stephen the Giant Killer

Stephen was over, and there was a fly in the house. (No, Stephen was not the fly.)

The fly flew out of Kallie's cupboard, where it had been hiding, and settled on the floor by my room. Kallie shreiked to Stephen to kill the fly. So he stomped on it.

With his BARE FEET.

GROSS!

For some strange reason he didn't understand why we weren't impressed.

Kallie made him wash his feet, and sprayed them with disinfectant.

Stephen spent the next 20 minutes soliliquising about his feat of amazing daring.

GROSS!

Put On Your Happy Face

So last Wednesday I went home early feeling sick. I made it through lunch with the kids (the chaos time) and then left.

At lunch, Flick looked at me and said, "Sam, SAAHM, where is your happy face SAAHM?"

I told her my happy face needed panadol.

(Not strictly true, all my faces are non-responsive to panadol except my fever face. My happy face needed Nurofen).

So I went home, took Nurofen, went to bed, got up, and realised I only had 2 nurofens left.

So I took them, and headed out to buy more.

On the way I saw... Haison, who works nearby. I waved, because in my doped up state I thought, "Oh, random Asian I think I know. Must be from church." Two steps on, I realised that that was HAISON.

Thank goodness my happy face had plenty of nurofen, because otherwise, it might have been my angry, punching face he would have seen.

On the bright side, he didn't recognise me. After all, he hasn't seen me since before I got glasses, let alone a head-covering.

And that, my friends, is a good reason to have a Happy Face.

Mistaken for a Jew

I’ve recently been convicted about wearing head coverings. Mine don’t completely cover the head, and Kallie found it hilarious that my first religious head coverings come from the store “Diva”, which is not exactly known for its modest accessories.

Anyways, I’ve been wearing them pretty much all the time, and had been for 3 days when on Friday evening I went done to Trampoline for some delicious ice-cream (they make dairy free stuff too).

The girl who served me has seen me there several times, but today she was extra friendly, and at the end said that she hoped I had a great dinner with my family.

I said I had ice-cream now, so of course I would.

I was not having dinner with my family, and I wondered why she would say that. I got halfway down the street when I realised… she thought I was a Jew wearing a head-covering because I was having a Sabbath meal! (My area has a very large Jewish population. So much so that when parents ask me where I live, their next question is, “Are you Jewish? I didn’t realise.”)

I thought it was hilarious.

Not Exactly, Meggie

I was changing a display on our walls, and a few of the kids asked me what I was doing. My standard response whenever they ask me what I’m doing is: “What do you think I’m doing?” because they usually know, they just want to make conversation, and it gets them using their expressive language.
So when Meggie looked at me and said “What are you doing?” I said, “What do you think I’m doing?”

She thought about it for a second, and said, “You’re up there so we can’t reach you.”
I nearly fell off my ladder for laughing. Guess she would have reached me then!

Puritans and Philistines

On the way to prayer I spent some time reading a book on the puritans. They’re interesting, and underrated (even if difficult reads) .

So I got there and people wanted to know what I was reading. I would just flash them the cover, then go back to the book.

Shaun looked at it and asked, “Who are the puritans?”

I explained that they were the English Reformers who strove for greater purity within the church and their personal lives, and sought to bring all aspects of living under the command of Scripture.

I also said that if someone calls you a puritan now days, they probably don’t mean it as a compliment. They mean that you’re a killjoy.

“So they’re different from the Philistines then?”

New Lego Play-Set - UK Edition

Matches and petrol sold separately, Facebook and Twitter accounts not included.









Thanks Step for emailing them to me.

Thanks Keith

Because of the KFC Father's Day item, I come into the main service late, so I get to hang out at the back of the church. Just like school, the back of the hall is where all the dodgies hang out. I fit right in.

When communion came round, Keith (head of all dodginess) said that we should go forward and make sure they didn't miss us. I think he's been missed before. I, on the other hand, have been at the back for a few weeks and have not been missed once. I guess the communion servers realise that I need all the help I can get.

Besides, I'm allergic to half of the communion, and I told Keith so.

"Yeah, I bet it's not the cup. You'd never be giving that up."

At Least I'm Still A Mammal

After corporate prayer, I was chatting to Y-Kong. In the conversation, I mentioned that I was a moody cow.

"Huh?"

Kal and I then explained to him that this is a general insult for moody people, particularly moody females.

He looked at me and said, "Well, I got the moody bit. But not the cow bit. I mean, you look much more like a rabbit."

Zoe and her Music

One of the most important things that I do is that I refuse to play kids music at work. The Toddler room is a Wiggles-free zone. We play real music to the kids. And they start developing preferences pretty soon.

So when I came in I went to put on some music. I asked Zoe wha she wanted. "Gee."

"Beatles or Fleetwood Mac?"

"Or Gee."

"We could have the Everley Brothers."

"Or Gee for Kids."

"The Beatles are really cool."

"Gee for Kids."

"Fine, we'll put on Glee."


Next week, I gave her the choice of Beatles or Fleetwood Mac again. "Gee?"

"No Glee today. I don't feel like Glee."

Zoe thought about it, then made her choice. "Beatles." So they went on.

As she usually does, Zoe stood in the home-corner where the CD player was and listened for a moment. Then she looked at me and sighed, "It's wonderful."

Car! Car!

I came into work today, and was, as usual, greeted by several of the children, including Thalia. The rest soon went back to their activities, but Thalia didn't. She looked at me and said, "Car, car!"

"Honey, you know I catch the bus."

"Car! Car!"

Then she grabbed my legs, and started lifting up my skirt.

Now, the good thing about childcare is it's pretty much all females as far as the adults go. And I wear stockings AND leggings under my skirt. But it's still disconcerting to have your skirt lifted by a two year old. So I told her to quit it.

"Car, car!" Thalia insisted.

"No, that is my skirt, not a car, and you don't lift up a girl's skirt. It's bad manners."

I walked away from her, putting away some of the things I had brought in from home. And I felt something banging at the back of my thighs. I twisted around, and saw this flash of red metal.

One of them had attached a toy car to my skirt!

I cut it off and gave it to Thalia, appologising, who promptly took the car. It was what she wanted anyway.

Well, it was an interesting start to the morning.