My Mum wants me to move to Portarlington. She's really keen on it. On the way up she kept on pointing out things she thought I would like. Why she did this I don't know, as I was 3/4 asleep and 1/4 grumpy due to intense lack of sleep.
It got worse.
She then started out pointing out all the different churches. "There's even a bunch of your loopy 'born-again' types here Samantha. You could go to that church". That's how I knew Mum was very serious. She thinks born-agains are a CULT. They do cult-like things like read the Bible, and go to church, and pray, and cult-like things like that.
It then got funny.
She started to go on about the virtues of the boys. "Lovely Celtic boys. They'll look good in a kilt and they'll go dancing with you." (Scottish dancing that is.)
I raised my eyebrows. It got better.
"They're lovely Celtic boys. Farmers and agrian boys. The type who'll give you a massive bunch of children, will beat you around a bit, and then go to church on Sunday." She paused, and then said, "That is what you need in a man."