Sunday, 30 November 2008

The Finer Arts of Jacket Stealing

For the few people who don't know, Cors and Justin got married yesterday. And the weather was cold. FREEZING. And whilst I was prepared with my thick jacket, most girls were wearing their pretty dresses, which are not the warmest.

This resulted in jacket stealing.

It appears that not everyone knows the rules of jacket stealing. Including several blog readers. So here they are:

1. Boys are the givers of the jackets. They may NOT steal them from girls. Unless you are under the age of ten and are stealing from a mother or much older sister. This means that SHAUN YOU MAY NOT ASK FOR MY JACKET.
2. If you are in a relationship you may only steal/give your jacket to your significant other. ALICIA! Family members are an exception here.
3. A single girl may steal a jacket from ANY single boy.
4. Single boys MUST give up their jackets when asked. You may NOT ask for it back unless your teeth are about to break or your skin has taken on a purple tone.
5. Boys may offer their jackets, but are not oblidged to. Do not help the girl put on the jacket unless you are in a relationship. That is considered hitting on a girl, and your (probably pure) motives (and jacket) will be shunned. Unless the girl likes you.

They are the rules. Break them at your peril!

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

What does it mean if you're a single girl and a girl already in a relationship offers you her jacket, then forces it upon you?

-Confused, Melbourne.

Sam-Is-Mad said...

Girls may borrow from any girl, boys may borrow from any boy. But it's rude for a girl to ask another girl, and weak for a boy to ask anyone.

Sam-Is-Mad said...

Boys get to be cold.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for clarifying the situation.

-Less Confused, Melbourne.

Sam-Is-Mad said...

So your having Reb's jacket is fine. Because you didn't ask. She commanded.

joab said...

That actually made sense... I'm impressed Sam

Sam-Is-Mad said...

Making sense... NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Speaking of impressed, you lost your jacket very early. Good job.

Anonymous said...

Interesting. Not sure I entirely agree though. Especially about helping somebody put on their jacket. I have had people help me put on jackets - since being married - and I am completely sure they were not trying to 'hit on' a married friend. I really do think they were just trying to help.

Also, why should boys be forced to suffer and be really cold because girls around them weren't sensible enough to bring a warm jacket when it is cold? That said, I was grateful when Sam lent me his jacket at the year 12 formal - however, I did actually bring my own jacket, but it got locked in the cloak room and I wasn't able to get it back part way through the night.

Steph

Sam-Is-Mad said...

Steph, you are a special case. Sick people get extra help. So even if a boy helped me with a jacket, I don't get to assume that he likes me. (Darn.) Because it's more likely that he is just worried that I'm going to cough up blood.

On why boys get to be cold:
1. They actually don't get as cold as girls. Don't ask me why, but as a general rule they don't.
2. As Christians, they are supposed to lay down their life for their wife. When they are single, they get to practise laying down their life on many occasions.
3. Boys like to feel macho.